by Sam Brean

Created on: March 12, 2009   Last Updated: March 29, 2009

The best advice for men on the art of flirting comes from within each individual person. It is your personality, supported by your character that you need to express in order to be successful in meeting and establishing a relationship with a woman. As difficult and uncomfortable as the endeavor of flirting may be at times, a shallow and superfluous effort only serves to create embarrassment for yourself and the lady of the moment.

Look in the Mirror

Pay attention to your appearance at all times. Whether you are heading for a night out on the town, or going to the grocery store, keep yourself looking clean and neat. First impressions-fair or unfair-are the first step down any path you intend to walk with a woman. This doesn't mean jeans and a t-shirt isn't okay to wear to appropriate places; wear clean jeans and leave the holey relic at home.

Be Yourself

To be, or not to be-yourself-is not the question, and it is not an option, if you intend to establish a relationship. Your girlfriend-to-be wants to know that what she is seeing and hearing is the real deal, not a fabricated, foundationless shell of a person.

Listen for Questions

Flirting conversations don't need to be complicated. It isn't necessary to discuss nuclear physics or international politics. Ask basic questions of your friend and listen intently to her answers; the manner in which she chooses to respond to you is the primary clue as to whether or not there is a spark in the coals. A lady unwilling to expound on her family, friends, job and interests in life-inviting more questions- is not willing to open her heart to you.

Be Honest and Sincere

Honesty and sincerity are such basic values; it is implausible to think the roots of a relationship will find any footing without those values being exchanged. It is impossible, over an extended period of time, to lie and fake your way into the mind and body of an intelligent woman.

Behave Respectfully

Women want to be treated respectfully. In order to trust your behavior toward them, they need to see you behaving respectfully toward others: your family, friends, co-workers, a waitress in a restaurant, her best friend, her parents, and a child in a park.

Open Your Book

If you expect a woman to open her life to you, you must reciprocate. In fact, you may need to give before you receive. We all are imperfect; a litany of success stories about you that exclude any faults, weaknesses or mistakes in your life, may well leave your flirtee feeling dubious about the entire proposition.

There Isn't an "I" in "We"

The fewer times you use "I" in your flirtatious rhetoric, the more likely your intentions will be well received. A woman is listening and thinking while you're talking, and when the only personal pronoun she hears is yours, any connecting words will fall on deaf ears. There is a perceived "we" in "you and me."

Perhaps the soundest advice for flirting men is to maintain a simple, enjoyable frame of mind while pursuing fair maidens: stay within your values; don't try to be someone you're not; don't be afraid to be who you are. Think about "she" at the expense of "me" and perhaps there will be a "we."

Learn more about this author, Sam Brean.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.