by Dossie M Terrell

Created on: March 12, 2009   Last Updated: May 14, 2012

Americans seem to have a pathological need to place blame, which is becoming more endemic as more celebrities lives fall apart on the national stage. Recent cases where certain celebrities have committed acts of domestic violence have inundated the air waves and victims as far back as the 70's have been trotted out to recount their horrors over and over again. It seems Americans demand and need scapegoats rather than deal with root causes.

Everyone needs to take a breather and remember abusers are not born with a predisposition for violence; some perpetrators may be victims themselves through generational aggressive behavior as violence is learned behavior. Therefore, it is important to get to the root cause of the problem. The abused should also step back and ask themselves why they attract the type who abuse them? For some it is the same story with every partner and for others there is a pathological dance of abusive behaviour from both the abused and the abusers. These issues go far beyond placing blame or calling the abuser a cad. We all understand that as no person in their right mind will go about abusing another.

Each time a celebrity goes savage and beats a partner, America becomes more ferocious than ever in its desire to exact vengeance; but what about the many women who are forced to live with domestic violence day in and day out. Of course there are hot-lines and groups to help these women, but if this blight on the tapestry of America's family landscape is ever to be eradicated, the justice department must act responsibly and do its job.

However, the solution is two fold. At the other end of the spectrum are parents who must teach their children that they do not have the right to hit another individual and if they do, there will be serious consequences. This should be a family edict that is unconditional. If you have children who have aggressive traits, do not ignore them. Domestic violence will not cease until parents in America rise up and start changing patterns of aggressive behavior in their children.

For all women (and some men), if you are in a relationship where you feel threatened, consider your alternatives carefully. If you need assistance, there are resources; however there are never enough to deal with this national shame. This web site identifies warning signs and behaviors that lead to violence if not stopped. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_ab use_types_signs_causes_effects.htm. The incidences of domestic violence can be reduced and over a generation it can be an aberration rather than the norm.

This site, though many of the statistics are dated, provides information on how the justice system has viewed incidences of domestic violence when females are the victims. American needs to change this mindset and start holding elected officials accountable http://home.cybergrrl.com/dv/stat/statcrim.html. I doubt whether much has changed, unfortunately. Therefore, mothers and fathers it is up to you to change this cycle and start valuing your daughters and teaching your sons to respect all women. It is also time to start valuing each other and commence celebrating family. That is the only way America will ever see a reduction in domestic violence.

In addition to addressing domestic violence, this site "Restorative Justice" looks at a number of crimes that may intersect with some of the causes of violence and attempts to offer solutions to repair the harm done by bringing stakeholders http://www.restorativejustice.org/editions/2003/Sept ember/domesticviolence and all involved together to create opportunities for victims in a number of areas.

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