by Barbara Ehrentreu

Created on: March 12, 2009

The birthday woman or man is opening the presents and finds one wrapped completely in black with a black bow. The card showing a skull and cross bones says "You're over the hill" and inside it says: "Have fun on the other side." For purposes of brevity we'll make the celebrant a woman. She laughs and unwraps the package and finds a set of dentures. The crowd laughs too. She looks underneath the dentures and there is your real present, a cashmere sweater in her favorite color. She hugs you and everyone's still smiling. Was the first gift insulting? It wasn't for your friend who laughed and enjoyed the joke at her expense. She's turning 50 and you've helped her realize that dentures are a long way off for her. She loves your real gift and later when she has some time to think she'll smile when she remembers the gag gift. The party guests got a big kick out of it too, and it helped to break the ice, because no one was really talking about the celebrant's age. After your gift the whole crowd gets a little looser and starts shouting out funny age-related jokes. Your friend fields them with a few of her own and everyone has a great time.

Before you use a gag gift you need to know a lot about your friend's temperament. If you have a high strung friend who takes everything seriously it might not be a good idea. This person wouldn't understand such a gift and it might even hurt them. But if you know that your friend can take a joke it can be very funny for both of you. For instance, buying a box of adult diapers for someone who is turning 60 could be very funny. However, you need to bring a real gift along too. The gag gift is like the can clowns and magicians use that pops out at you with stuffed fake snakes when you open it. This is always funny, because most people react to the whoosh of the snakes with fear at first and then, when they realize they are only stuffed, they laugh.

Everyone enjoys a joke at someone else's expense as long as it doesn't harm the person on whom it is being played. With the snakes in the can no one is hurt and the same is true for bringing a gag gift to your friend's birthday. It's a lot of fun and hurts no one. When you bring a real gift along with the gag gift it shows your friend that you were thinking of her or him. It's an extra effort and expense that no one who is not your true friend would ever think to make. We always tease and ridicule the ones we like the best. However, be prepared to be on the receiving end of one of those gifts

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