by Claire Ducker

Created on: March 12, 2009

"Tell me about your day."

This is not what people usually say to each other when they get together in the evening. Usually they say, "How was your day?" to which the usual answer is, "Fine," thus ending the conversation.

Asking someone to "tell me about your day" is asking so much more. It is an invitation to relate the events of the day in some detail, to share the mundane, bit-by-bit incidents that make up everyday life.

Saying "tell me about your day" means that one is prepared to listen at length to a narrative that might not be interesting in itself to most people but which is of intense interest to someone who really cares about the narrator.

It is widely reported that couples and families spend very little time talking to one another. They spend most of their daily lives apart from each other and may often feel that they have nothing much to say. But every family member has lived through the same eight or ten hours and knows nothing about what the others have experienced in that time. If they are to share their lives together, they must share the times they have spent apart.

Here is an example of what a typical daily narrative might be like: "Well, the traffic was really bad this morning, so I got to work late, and there was a meeting at nine, so I just barely had time to get ready for that. It was about that new software we just installed; I said it was a dog from the day it was whelped, and everyone thought that was pretty funny, except for Ralph. It just went on and on and didn't get out till eleven o'clock, so then I went back to my office and checked my email and messages. I heard from Jennifer; she says she just loves being at home with the baby and never wants to come back to work. Then I went to lunch with Jim at the cafe in the building. I had a turkey sandwich, and it was okay. Jim told me about his vacation in Mexico. I was really sleepy when I got back to the office, so I set the alarm on my cell phone for one o'clock and snoozed for fifteen minutes. I felt a lot better then. I worked on the Slippery Slope project till break time. I went on break with Dorothy and Howard; she's all upset because her son didn't come home last night until two AM. I ran into trouble on Slippery Slope, so I shot an email to John and worked on the Sick Puppy problem till six. I had to stay, since I was late in the morning. The traffic wasn't too bad, though. Maybe I should start working nine to six. The trouble is, I hate being there after everyone else has left. So,

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