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Whether at home or at work, being able to manage conflict is important in order to maintain healthy, and lasting, relationships. People have various ways of dealing with conflict, and some methods are more effective than others.

Everyone will experience conflict at different times in their life, and it does have the potential to ruin relationships, both at work and at home. To ensure that this doesn't occur, it is important firstly to recognise conflict, and to develop a strategy to deal with it.

Avoiding conflict Many people are so wary of conflict, they will try to avoid it completely. This means that even if they disagree with the way something is being done, they will go along with it to keep the peace'. This method however often leads to a feeling of resentment, and something that should be a small problem can become blown out of proportion. If you always avoid conflict, it also makes it difficult to stand up when another problem arises, especially if it is an issue that you are not willing to go along with. Fighting until one person become victorious' Having a yelling match at work or at home is not productive. It means that both parties are not actually heard, as they are too busy trying to get their own point across.

While you might feel that you have stated your case, all you have really done is unsettled everyone around you, and you haven't been listened to, which will often lead to further frustration. Discussion and compromise This is the best method of dealing with conflict. Depending on the people involved, a discussion may require an outside mediator, to make sure that the discussion remains on track, and doesn't turn into a yelling match, which is counter-productive. If you decide to proceed without a mediator, be sure that you are willing to listen to the other person's point of view, and be ready to state clearly what it is that you want, trying to remain as unemotional about it as possible.

Heated discussion is fine, but make sure to take a step back if things begin to get out of control. Suggest a ten minute break, and use the time to calm yourself so that you can again talk rationally with the other person. For many people, it can be helpful if they write down the main points that they want to discuss. This helps things remain on track, and you won't feel like you've left out a vital point of contention once the discussion is over.

Effective conflict management can be the difference between maintaining a relationship, and having it fall to pieces. If you recongise that something has become, or is about to become a conflict, act quickly and work with the other person or people involved. Set up a meeting, with or without a mediator, have your main points clear in your mind, and actively listen to the other person when they are stating their case. Not only does this show respect, but you may find that some of your ideas are similar, you are just approaching the problem from a different angle.

Learn more about this author, Kris Zelunka.
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