by Heather Hogan

Created on: March 10, 2009

September 26, 1992 was the day of my first marriage. It was a beautiful place. I was getting married in Maui, overlooking an extraordinary cliff where below jagged rocks were being slammed by angry waves every moment. It was quite a sight, and the noise was glorious to the ears. Well, to my ears, I didn't want to hear the words that the minister was saying. I just knew when I was supposed to say "I do." My ears didn't want to hear the words that I was agreeing to.....Death do us part, in sickness and in health? Huh! I wanted to get this over with and head back to Chicago for awhile.

I remember standing there looking at my soon to be husband and thinking, "He is very cute. I love his dark hair, and his smile is so genuine. He is a nice boy from Iowa with great manners. I am sure he will be a great father in less than seven months. I hope he can cook, I don't like to cook. I wonder if he likes to go to the movies. I hope he loves sushi. Although, right now in my condition I am not allowed to eat sushi."

As I stood there I couldn't believe I was getting married. I was twenty two and had only known Michael for three months. Those three months were mostly filled with drinking, sleeping and working. I felt like I was marrying a stranger, well, actually I was. It was strange when I looked at our witnesses. I had known them for two months, fellow bartender and waitress at the establishment Michael and I worked at. I missed my family, since none of them could make the fast trip. When I called to tell them that two lines appeared on the $19.95 pregnancy test, that I really couldn't afford, instead of one they let me know it was too expensive to fly last minute to Maui where I ran away to. I said I understood. But then I got angry, the only reason I was getting married was because my Catholic grandmother would have gone early to her grave if I had a child out of wedlock.

Oh, my wedding day, it was filled with uncertainty, anxiety, no flowers, no one I knew, including my husband, and a future that looked bleak. But at least my grandmother was happy. I was very happy when the ceremony was over. I was torn between throwing myself on the jagged rocks and letting the angry waves beat me until I washed out to sea or getting in the car that barely started and heading to the bar/restaraunt we worked at for celebratory shots!

I got in the car. We had a baby girl, got divorced, and am now the happiest thirty nine year old woman you will ever meet. Michael and I are best friends and great parents!

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