by Deanna Delahey

Created on: March 10, 2009   Last Updated: March 11, 2009

Women, the great unknown mystery of the universe. Understanding women: go boldly, where no man has gone before.

Women really aren't all that complex or difficult. Men need to understand that women have hormones coursing through their bodies that pretty much determine their moods. They also were created with a basic instinct to nurture, nest and to love and be loved.

That is not to say that all women are alike. Nor are all men alike. As human beings our personalities are developed by the way we were brought up, life experiences, and social and economic influences. That is why there is so much diversity among human beings and the beauty of individuality. Not many people share the same upbringing, experiences or socioeconomic factors.

Understanding a woman is to discern what she wants and needs. Some men think that women expect you to know what they want, to read their minds, and react immediately (or sooner) with the correct response. In fact, if you develop an attentive ear, you will learn that by listening and communicating effectively, the woman in your life will be more than glad to tell you what she wants or needs. If you don't understand, don't be afraid to ask! By doing this you are endearing yourself to her, because women love men that are caring and attentive. It shows that you are really "into" her and about who she is as a person. Listening is the key to her heart.

Effective communication in any relationship is essential to a healthy union. If you can learn to communicate with one another, accept each other for who each of you are, unconditionally, then you will both benefit and build a love based upon mutual respect.

There are three points that I think are important to remember in any relationship:

1. A relationship is a 50/50 proposition. If you give 110% you will be rewarded in kind. Unselfish love will attract her to you like bees to honey. However, if you just charm her, dote on her expecting something in return (especially sex) then she will catch on that it is all an act and wonder if you truly love her for who she is. Do not be controlling, obsessive, jealous or over bearing, these are unhealthy attitudes and will kill a relationship.

2. If you make someone feel good about them self, they will feel good about you. What you sow is what you reap. This holds true for any relationship, love or friendship. Stop and think for a moment about someone (other than a family member) with whom you have a good relationship. Think about the qualities of that person which makes you feel good about them. You will probably answer ... they understand me, they're great to talk to, they make me feel good about myself, I enjoy being with them.

3. Never underestimate the power of humor. Laughter is good medicine. It's very hard for someone to disagree with you or be angry at you if you are making them smile or laugh.

4. Never go to bed angry at one another. Work out your conflicts, using a time-out to cool down first. Communicate without yelling. When you cannot resolve your differences, agree to disagree. There is no bigger relationship killer than resentment.

Unconditional love is to love someone without expecting anything in return. If you want to understand a woman, try loving her unconditionally and see what results you get. Do not try to over analyze her. Do not try to "fix" her. Do not try to make her what you want her to be. Just accept. Love. Communicate. And enjoy!

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