by Lisa Pearce

Created on: March 10, 2009   Last Updated: August 30, 2010

I remember exactly where I was on New Year's Eve, 1999. Not so much because it was Y2K, but because of a kindness a friend did for me that has remained with me ever since:

The five of us girlfriends went on a hiking trip in the Drakensberg to see in the New Year. We spent the previous evening at a fantastic little B&B near the Royal Natal National Park. The B&B was quaint and cosy, and the owner gave his guests a sushi picnic on the front lawn with the awesome Drakensberg view as the backdrop. It was an incredible experience!

The next day's hike was spectacular, despite some of us having slept very little the previous night! Back at the B&B the owner had already fired up the warm water, but we shared a double room with only one bath which the five of us had to share. My friend had earned the right to take the first bath during the day, I can't remember why. The last bath was bound to be a cold one, and yours truly was last on the list! She ran the bath, put bath salts in and called me to take her place. It was completely unexpected and meant so much to me. She had no reason to do it, and didn't expect anything in return. Although my friend and I now live on opposite sides of the world, that one kindness still warms my heart.

Little kindnesses can go a long way to building relationships, or giving someone the lift they've needed. The act of doing little kindnesses without ulterior motives is good for the soul, and not only of the one receiving it. It has an even deeper effect on the one giving it.

When you act kindly, you free yourself from being so self-centred that no one can reach behind your shield. Opening your hands to give of yourself opens you to be blessed in return. There is no better way to brighten up your own day than to be kind to a stranger or close friend. A person who is habitually kind in small ways always has a better outlook on life. A kindness given is a kindness received.

This principle can be used by unscrupulous individuals to gain advantage over people or to earn favours, especially in the workplace. But what goes around comes around and the positive effect of kindness-with-a-motive never outlasts the repercussions.

Healthy acts of kindness always benefit the receiver without asking for a favour in return. It could be sending your loved one a quick message during the day to encourage them, helping a colleague with a lift from work, making the bed without being asked and without complaining, doing someone's filing for them while you're doing your own or anything small that will lighten someone's day. Healthy acts of kindness are usually spur-of-the-moment and always unselfish. It will always boost the unselfish giver's self esteem as a surprise after-effect!

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