by Claire Chock

Created on: March 10, 2009

I actually had a gothic roommate my junior year of college. While I liked the gothic sub-culture and so got along with my roomie, others may feel intimidated and wonder how they'll get through the year. Let me give you some tips on handling the situation.

1. Knowledge is Power-learn about goths and the goth subculture. There's a bunch of sites on the net that you can look up for straight info on goths. Knowledge can blast any stereotypes you have out of the water and help you become more open-minded/ accepting or at least tolerant of it. Understanding the style your roomie has will greatly reduce tension and stop conflicts arising from misconceptions before they even start.

2. Communication is key- ask your roomie about the culture and why they associate with it. You can start up a convo by asking about a piece of jewelry they have or soemthing. Asking to look at their cds or movies would be another good convo starter. Make idle convo too, show them the funny vid you saw on youtube, notice the weather, ask about their day or talk about yours. Also, Include them in your outings with friends. ask if they want to come along to a movie or join you and friends for lunch.

3. Let sleeping dogs lie- If they still freak you out too much (some goths pride themselves on shock value), then maybe it's for the best to just let the issue go and not bring it up. If your schedules prevent you from seeing each other much, it can be for the best to just mill in your own social circles.

4. Get help- if you've got issues with your roommate beyond style clashes, floor RA's are usually pretty available to talk to and come up with resolutions. You can go to them at any time in the year but the sooner you talk to them if you're at a loss of what to do, the better. Some goths relate to that particular culture because of deep personal issues that have scarred them and caused them to be extremely reticent, hiding behind emotional walls. In this case as well, it's best to let them be unless they speak of suicide or show other symptoms of suicidal depression. If they do, get psychiatric help for them immediately, whether they want it or not but make sure you suggest it before getting a shrink to see them otherwise they'll resent you for not talking about it with them first.

All in all, the more you communicate with your roommate in non-argumentative ways, the better off you'll be. Not everyone can get along with everyone else but usually something can work with a little understanding and effort.

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