by L. Dalton

Created on: March 09, 2009

A MOTHER'S MONOLOGUE

"Yes, yes, I understand. I am on my way." She hung up the phone. Now to get my purse, glasses, coffeewhy didn't she call me when they left? Dear Lord, please take care of her.

Why doesn't this traffic get out of my way? I have to be there, I'm her mother! Finally moving! It's not far so maybe I'll be in time.

"Oh, Ryan, I got here as fast as I could. Is she alright, how's the baby?" All is well mom, you can see her if you like.

What will I say to her..be brave, it's all going to be over soonas though she really feels that way now. Oh, how I remember. It seemed not that long ago..

"Ryan, she is doing fine. Go on back in there with her. I'll stand watch out here." He is such a fine young man, Marie is fortunate to have him for a husband. Couldn't have picked him out better myself.

She looks good and is doing well, I hope it all goes easy on her. I remember when she was born. Oh the hopeless months waiting on her, then she was here. There wasn't any time to hardly get to the hospital. But, my beautiful girlit was all worth it. Now you are a grown woman, married with a life of your own. I seem to have been left on the sidelines of your life now. But it doesn't stop me from worrying about you, loving you, or trying to help ease the road, as I always have. But knowing there is nothing I can do to ease her pain is almost too difficult to deal with. I can't bear to see her hurt. Watching her, I hurt more than she does. Didn't ever believe I'd be standing here in a hospital waiting room, my hands tied, leaving the care of my only daughter to a doctor and a man. I know they will do all that is necessary for her, but I'm her mother and that will never change. She was always so much of a tom-boy; taking up for her brothers, hitting the best home run. Oh, how she fought changing from blue jeans and a baseball cap to dresses and make-up. It was like a rose budding out from a little green ball. Oh, how I wish they would let me know how she is..this waiting is like trying to wake up from a night mare. I wonder how will she look at me after this is over? She'll be a different person. And too maybe she'll understand just how deep a mother's love does run. Maybe she'll come to my house and spend a couple of days? It would be nice to have her with me, just us, and a quiet time together. Oh, there comes Ryan. "Mom, the doctors are with her now, no time. She'll be ok mom, don't worry." "But, I wanted to see her.." " She didn't want you to come in there. Just be patient and I'll let you know how things are as soon as they tell me."

Wow, she didn't want me in there? What is wrong.why can't I be there with her. After all the years of raising her, going through the cuts and bruises, heart break and joy, laughing at each other's mess ups.what could I have done? I only want to soothe her fears, make her feel easy and hold her hand now, that I can't hold her. Oh, God please take care of her.

"Mom, the doctor just came out..it's a boy!" "Wow, I'm a dad!" "They said you could see her and the baby in a few minutes. I'll be back." Now, see, I've been standing on my head, worrying, pacing, thinking all sorts of things..and now, I'm a grandmother and with a new baby to hold.

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