Look into the eyes of an newborn infant. Peaceful. Inquisitive. Trusting. Love. There is no hint of judgment or shame. There is no diverting of eyes prompted by discomfort of human connection. There is no understanding of life with laws. There is no concept of delayed gratification.
Infants operate from the truest part of humankind- the heart. And while she may become furious when hungry or wet, she is quick to forgive when changed and fed. She never worries from where her next meal will come. She never worries about her needs being met. And she absolutely never will lament over the trivialities of materialism. She compares herself to no one to gage her self worth. She loves herself completely. This is innocence in its purest form.
Long about six months old, she may learn, from well meaning parents, that her cries mean nothing when she wakes in the night; they are teaching her to "put herself to sleep," as advised by the pediatrician. Thus, the concept of despair enters the picture. And by and by, she will learn conformity; she will doze off more quickly the second and third time around. In this seemingly harmless parental act, this infant's view of herself changes. She is no longer the center of the Universe. She begins to accommodate the rules of adults, and, in such a helpless age, will never think twice that sh
e abandoned her pure-and-perfect self-perception.
That same infant will grow to be a toddler. She must learn to conform her exuberant and effortless propensity for discovery. She hears, "No!" more than "Yes!" and will continue to learn that "following her bliss" is unacceptable. Again, well meaning parents that are teaching their child, in efforts to raise her to a competent adult.
A few years later, this lovely child timidly shuffles into her first day of kindergarten. Her inquisitive eyes peer around the room full of wondrous things- just waiting to be revealed. She is practiced at keeping her "world discovery" urges in check. She reluctantly takes her place amongst her classmates.
When she is finally free to discover the classroom environment, she learns that she must do this in a limited time. She is forced to replace unfinished puzzles. She learns that some things are "off-limits." She is forced to wait her turn for the toy of her choice, only to discover that free-time is over and she must return to her seat.
She eats her snack when she is told, naps when she is told, goes out on the playground when she is told, and, most notably, learns about things that she is told are important. Thus, her true desires are successfully stamped out, and this peaceful, inquisitive, and trusting soul is now shadowed by conformity. Further, a quarterly report is given by the adults around her; adults that have absolutely no idea what this child is pre-destined to learn in this lifetime on Earth.
The child may learn that she is "below average" or "above average," the child may be labeled "learning disabled" or "gifted," she will be praised for things that have absolutely nothing to do with anything that resonates with her heart. And as for those children that resist conformity (the ones that express exuberance and excitement about life) are quickly dubbed, "the trouble makers." The teacher might report, "Little Sally just won't stay away from the piano!" or "All she wants to do is paint!" In the worst case, this child might be put on medications to assist in conformity. Her efforts to "follow her bliss" are met with harsh punishments, even humiliation. What are the odds that little Sally will want to learn the piano later in life?
This pattern continues and becomes more constricting as she ages. Depression and low self-esteem may set in, and the dreams that were once so real in childhood are covered by layers of judgment, shame, and apathy. This, of course, is viewed by society as "laziness." The adult in such a circumstance is challenged at "finding herself" amongst the debris of broken dreams and the conformity of social order.
While we are privileged to have advanced education systems, it is horrific how children are molded to the judgments of adults- whom were molded by the adults before them, whom were molded by the adults before them. And while it is unfeasible to most that Little Sally would be given free reign on the piano from morning til night, for years on end, how different would her life be if she had never been told to "refrain" from following her bliss? How is it that adults can sit in judgment of her soul-discovery and the very thing that brings her joy? These well-meaning adults may have squelched the next Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
Now, we all can recognize the value in educating our children. And most agree that we must have some "measures" to judge advancement. Yet, perhaps we can begin to "loosen" these strict guidelines and, most importantly, recognize from early-on those children that are having difficulty succeeding in such an environment. Perhaps we could begin to shift our attitudes of a homogenous, one-track path to success. Perhaps we can encourage children to follow their bliss and let them know that their desires are important and valuable.
Perhaps we can create and educational environment that will let Little Sally bang away on the piano, and allow her to recognize this desire as a gift, rather than a curse. Perhaps, she can then grow into an accomplished musician, with many gifts to offer the world. Her ABC's and 123's can come a bit later; she will learn more quickly with a healthy self-esteem anyways. Is this not better than letting her grow into the lethargic adult whose self-perception has slowly diminished- since that first night as an infant that she cried herself to sleep?