by Frankie Barrios

Created on: March 09, 2009

Whether a woman keeps her name or takes on her husband's surname at marriage is sometimes a difficult decision for a new bride. The difficulty in making such a decision is largely caused by not wanting to deviate from a "tradition" which is largely practiced in our country, and in most all English-speaking countries, and is often the cause of needless stress and anxiety.

Of course there are pros and cons associated with either decision. However, I believe that in today's American society, where women are marrying later in life and have generally already established a career or business and is living independently, it makes much more sense for the woman to keep the name that she has been using, at least for professional purposes.

First and foremost, any feelings of guilt that arise when a woman is making the decision as to whether she will keep her name or change her name to her husband's must be dispelled. Keeping one's name does not display disrespect for the state of marriage in any way.

Practical sense should be a key factor in the decision-making process. If it would be impractical for the woman to change her name, then she must keep her own name. For example, if the woman has already established a good credit history, through the purchase of car or home, it may not be the most practical decision for her to change her name.

It has become more of a formality of marriage for a woman to take on the husband's name at marriage and if this formality is an inconvenience or unfeasible, then the woman should keep her name. In our world today where re-marriage is commonplace, it may indeed be impractical or bring on unnecessary confusion if the woman were to take on her new husband's surname solely. Confusion comes into play especially when there are children involved from a previous marriage.

Many women prefer to keep their name the same as their children's, especially if the children are school age. School documents and guardianship accountability can become convoluted very quickly as a maze of names emerge that tend to create the "who's on first" syndrome. Life just doesn't need any additional man-made confusion.

Times have changed from the days when this tradition of taking on the husband's surname was the norm. Just as other practices have evolved and society had made appropriate changes to accommodate the new trend, so should the tradition of taking on the husband's name at marriage change. It should no longer be considered the norm, and a woman who decides to keep her name as is after marriage should not be looked upon as a deviant. By and large, it is becoming more practical for a woman to keep her name after marriage and she should be able to do this without criticism or chagrin.

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