I just had a crash diet imposed on me by cancer. I lost 25 lbs in 2 months and at 5'2" tall, I now weigh 105 lbs. I look terrible! My regular clothes just fall off me. If nothing else, I've been told I practice the philosophy of Ghandi but I damn well don't care to look like him, too!
Instead of my thighs comfortably rubbing together as they've done for so many years, now they have to call one another by long distance, I have to stand beside myself to make a shadow next to a broom, my cats try to run to me, miss and have to clean themselves off the wall behind me.
My wonderful husband has watched what cancer and treatments have done to me three times now and this has been the most drastic. But, after a trip to emergency, last Sunday, when even the hospital wasn't sure if I'd come out of it alive because of the nausea and dehydration, I feel as though I have a new lease on life.
For me, this time, it was watermelon that is saving my life. I was at that point, I knew I had to have something that would go down, stay down and allow more food and drinking to be processed. I refused to throw in the towel (I needed the darn thing handy!). Other people tried to help and finally had just resigned themselves to stand-by because nothing had worked.
I told my dear husband that for some reason, I wanted watermelon. He somehow, through three stores, finally found one that had one container of pre-cut watermelon pieces left. He grabbed it, fought a battle to make it to the checkstand and brought it home. That container couldn't have been filled with gold and made me feel good at that point. But as that cool, sweet, wet watermelon slid down my ravaged wreck of a throat that had been so unmercifully burned with vomit just a few hours before, at that moment I was experiencing the very best that any heaven could ever offer me. I'm now expanding my eating selections carefully. I honestly feel I have another handle to pick up my life with.
For me it was watermelon, for someone else in that dire circumstance it might be something else. But keep trying. Don't judge others by what's on the outside no matter what the package "usually" says. Just love what's on the inside and help it flourish. That's where the spark of life is held gently and the packaging does not matter.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> So many battle with "the weight issue". "I'd look better with just that ten pounds gone", or maybe it's 20 pounds or "Man, those pants make me so uncomfortable until I undo the belt and waistband", or "Honey, do I look fat?" We all know the basics of proper nutrition. And we darn well know that the calendar is ticking or something like that By simply fine tuning our caloric intake to make adjustments for a new level of age or how much more busy or less busy we are and eat accordingly, and then the big step of accepting our own bodies and what they're going to look like at their best, health wise, is all that's needed. To try to look like the 15 year old or even 20 year old model is hurting us on the inside as well as the outside, even if we're only 15 or 20 years old. But the woman of 30 or 40 or more may also go on a diet reaching for that elusive body. I'm here to tell you, don't try it!
In five or six months, when I finish chemotherapy, my tests all come back and say that I'm healthy again, until I fight the next battle with cancer, and I still am holding onto a sparse frame, then so be it. Health will be my byword. That's the best there can be. If my body is meant to be heavier then I shall be heavier. But no matter what else the world will claim it is looking for in their next model, they won't be knocking on my door anyway! My husband will still love me, or not, my grandchildren will still be mine and will accept me, or as the average goes, will ignore me. So what? My boss will still challenge me or fire me, or not. So what? My looks will not pay my bills and if I was dependant on the world for my livelihood and that depended on my look, time will not always be my best friend anyway. So what?
It's time, people, to start getting those brain cells pumping again. That's where beauty truly lies. The brain, our perceptions, our judgments of others and of ourselves needs to be brought back into sharp focus. And if I end up more resembling Ghandi, that's okay too, as long as he doesn't mind the competition.