by Patricia Sabina

Created on: March 08, 2009

A conversation can not be a good conversation unless it includes questions! Good communication is a balance of mutual enquiry, listening, and sharing. So the value of questions in conversation is equal to the level of interest experienced by the participants. Questions are the very substance of conversations.

Having established that questions are one of the keys to good conversation, another key aspect of good communication is that there has to be a two way flow. If all the questions are one way, then it isn't a conversation, it's an interview!

If you are naturally curious, then you probably won't have a problem coming up with genuine points of enquiry to spark off a good conversation. You might of course be over zealous in your questioning and have to exercise some constraint. Although you may desperately be wondering how much is in his bank account, it probably wouldn't go down too well to ask that one quite just yet! Discretion is equally as important as authenticity. And that's where many a conversation can fizzle out like a damp firework.

If you ask questions for the sake of asking questions without a hint of real interest, the person in front of you will know by the glazed expression written all over your face! Only ask about what you really want to hear about or you could end up getting every mathematical equation for the matrix of the subatomic world, unless of course that's right up your street!

Questions are the way we find out about each other's lives. We can build up a picture by putting the pieces together; they help us to find out what is behind the person and the image that we see. Questions can shatter our assumptions and our prejudices. Questions reveal tour unseen aspects, our essence and our very soul. They can deepen the connection we feel between each other and create the foundation for long and lasting friendship.

If we are genuinely interested in others, it will show in the questions we ask. We will learn about life from the perspective of another. We will have deep and meaningful conversations that teach us many things about ourselves and others. And when we have such conversations we will feel a connectedness that gives us a sense of belonging to the family of humanity.

Questions are at the heart of good conversation and good conversations are at the heart of good relationships. If we can establish good relationships in our lives this will undoubtedly enhance our lives and bring many benefits our way whether in our work, at home with our families, and in whatever we do.

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