by T.C Leonard

Created on: March 08, 2009   Last Updated: March 10, 2009

"Is the Apocalypse Upon Us?"

Welcome to my conference,
I hope you're doing fine,
It's called, 'My Take on Normalcy
For the Year Two-thousand nine'

Now let me field your questions,
And I'll tell you what I know
I'll start out with that gentleman
There in the second row

Okay, do I have children?
Yes, it has been my fate
To be the proud father
Of a brood of one-point-eight

My job? Well, now I'm in between,
And my accounts are in arrears
I've switched occupations five times now
In the past three years

My home? It's been foreclosed upon,
But herein lies the rub...
As has everybody else's,
So welcome to the club

Have I cheated on my wife?
Yes, our vows are long-since ruined
Maybe you and I can swap sometime...
It's what everybody's doin'!

Do I think that we'll end up
In a messy, long divorce?
It seems to be the thing to do,
So my answer is, 'Of course!'

Well, that's all of the time I have-
Why do you look so stunned?
That's just how things are done now
This ain't nineteen fifty-one!

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