by Debbie N

Created on: March 08, 2009

The first kiss, the first date, the first time you have sex. These are all events a woman wants to remember as wonderful, romantic, and fun, right? Unfortunately, when I think of my first kiss, my first date, and my first time, all I can think of is, "UGH, can I please have a way back machine so I can do it all over again with different people?"

My first kiss was a nightmare of epic proportions. I do not recall the guy's name or even what he looked like, and I'm thankful for both of these things, because he, whoever he was, is not someone I want to remember.

When I think of it as just the kiss, it's not as bad as thinking of the kiss being associated with a real, live person.

I remember about as little of the date as I do of the guy. I know it was a blind date, and that I was with a friend and her boyfriend.
If I recall correctly, the kisser was a friend of my friend's boyfriend. How sad it is, that I don't even remember which friend I was with. I don't recall my age, either. I think I was 15, but I am not certain of this. I wonder if I just blocked as much as I could of the incident from my memory all together.

One of the details I do remember very clearly is the location of where the infamous kiss took place.
I lived in a high rise apartment building in New Jersey, and I know we were in a car in front of the lobby of my building. In my mind I can recall a lot of bright lights. My friend's boyfriend must have been at least 17, as that is the legal age to get a driver's license in New Jersey. I know that my friend and her boyfriend were in the front seat and I was in the back seat with the kisser. Oddly, I do remember what he was wearing; gray dress pants and a white dress shirt.
I wonder if he was trying to impress me.

Now, of all the details that I cannot remember, the one I remember clearly, and the one I wish I could forget, was the kiss. I can only describe it as a typical 15 year old in the 80s could describe and awful kiss.
Gag me with a spoon! It was disgusting. The guy was all tongue and sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. I felt as if my whole mouth was filled with tongue. I don't recall awful breath, but I have a vague recollection of a foul smell, and I think it might have been a good case of body odor.

I will give the guy an A for effort. There was a lot of attempted pawing going on as the kiss was taking place, but I was not having any of it!

I made sure the kiss ended as quickly as possible and said my goodnights just as quickly. I ran upstairs to my house and immediately went in to the bathroom and began to feverishly brush my tongue and teeth. I know I did it at least twice and maybe even three times. I couldn't get the feeling of his tongue out of my mouth. I remember wanting to spit continuously so I could rid my mouth of his saliva. Even now as I recall it, I have the urge to spit!

My first time, thankfully not with him, was nothing to write home about either, and as I have aged, kissing and sex and all that goes with it have greatly improved. I'm sure this guy, whoever he was, was and is a nice guy and there's a good chance he's become a good kisser. At least I hope so for the sake of anyone he's swapping spit with these days.

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