by Lindsay Clark

Created on: March 08, 2009

My two Euro-tripping, backpacking, travel companions and I decided to flip a coin. Heads, we take a night train to L'viv, Ukraine. Tails, we motor across Slovakia and enjoy the Tatra mountains in Poland.

Clink cla-clink clink!

The Ukraine it is! Oh boy. We better buy some vodka.

Normally our limited knowledge of public transportation bodes adequate, seeing as we were in our eighteenth country together, but there have been a few instances when we failed to ask the little questions that later became pivotal. These moments, when we expect one thing and experience something quite different, often present more difficulties but always produce fantastic stories. In this instance, we thought we were taking a night train to the Ukraine. It was more eventful than that.

We board the first train, one pretty standard for Eastern Europe. The two girls, Alexis and I, could sleep on the benches, while Garrett could utilize my blow-up mat across the floor. However, our conductor/new friend informed us to pack it up because this wasn't our only train this evening.

Already becoming sleepy, we left our first "sleeper train" around 11pm only to wait in the rain for the next one. All conductors left for the night, and our stop didn't have a sign or a nearby city. Our only instructions were to follow three other people waiting at the stop. We followed without question, even after we watched them load at least twenty bicycles onto the train, this most pitiful excuse of a train.

I am not jesting when I say this train could have killed us, Final Destination style. If someone sat down on the holed leather seat, the entire bench would have fallen to the floor, causing the cabin walls to shake down the asbestos in the broken ceiling. Exposed insulation would rain down from above and cover said unsuspecting victim with bits of itchy fiber, which they would immediately attempt to avoid by jumping up and grabbing the non-existent table, then the rusty trash bin, and finally the exposed electrical wiring, shocking themselves senseless and sending their wrecked body out the crooked window to the unknown world outside. At least it made a fun setting for a few documentary videos. And to top off all this fun, I sat in gum.

Accepting our fate, Garrett took to the restrooms only to return smellier than when he left, while Alexis and I tried to sleep on the tottering benches. Forty-five minutes later, we arrived in Chop, Ukraine for immigration. The power blonds were out this midnight hour, and they meant

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