by Sondra Gomez

Created on: March 07, 2009

I have written on the wife side of this debate, my being a woman, though I couldn't vote on this debate because I feel it's not a realistic, nor a fair question to ask. I feel that if anything you just may find out whom your friends really are. People by no means have custody of their friends. They are blessed with them.

Friends will be there for both of you because they love, and care about the two of you. It's unfair to your friends to expect them to respond to your divorce with the same resentment, and anger that you may be having toward the divorcee from your marriage.

The divorce simply doesn't have an affect the two of you experiencing the divorce, it is also heart breaking for all of the people in your lives of whom love the two of you, and have shared in your lives as a married couple.

Even in this world today, with separation and divorce being so common, most of us view marriage as a solid bond, a bond of life long commitment, and when someone is to experience divorce, or witness the painful, and contemptuous argument often associated with divorce, we find ourselves weakened in the faith that we have in regards to a lifelong commitment.

I truly never thought it would though in my own experience sadly divorce has affected my life. I also have felt the pain for those of whom I care about that have gone through the experience of divorce, and I can personally say that it is a heartbreaking time for all of whom are involved, the couple that are divorcing, the children, the extended family, and yes for your friends too.

Both of the people experiencing the divorce are in need of reassurance, and the comfort that a friend can bring by being there to cry with you, and listen when you feel you need a sympathetic ear to hear you voice your feelings of concern, and regret, and help you down your path of recovery.

It would be unfair of you to think that your friends should feel the same way you do about your divorcee, after all they loved both of you as a couple, they too have their own kind of heart break in regards to the end of your marriage, they too are trying to heal.

So in all of the painful confusion it would probably be best not to ask that your friends choose a side, shouldn't it be reassuring enough to know that you have friends that love you and want to offer their support to both of you when you are in need of their caring friendship.

So thank your lucky stars if you will, when you're blessed with such friends. They are rare indeed, and very special, with their kind love you will find hope, and you will heal.

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