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When you are extracting yourself from a toxic relationship, you have to rebuild your confidence on several levels in order to recover. What makes a relationship toxic is that it is filled with mistakes and bad choices over a protracted length of time. These choices are based on false assumptions and poor advice and suggestions. No one can recover from a toxic relationship without the passing of time accompanied by some serious effort.

Work to restore confidence in yourself.

One of the worst outcomes of a toxic relationship is that it erodes your confidence to make good decisions. It is common for one toxic relationship to be followed by others or to have several at one time. This makes it easy to assume that you have something wrong that causes you to make such bad decisions.

To restore this confidence, you need to find ways to make some small right choices. If you have good friends or family to support you, seek their opinions before making final choices. You cannot live without making choices. So, get some guidance to learn what a good decision feels and looks like. You may find that you second guess a lot of your decisions. The way through this is just to keep making choices until your confidence and skill returns.

Relationship choices should be avoided until your self-confidence and self-esteem have been restored.

You do not want to go back into relationships while there is still a better than average chance of picking the wrong type of person. When your confidence and self-image are high enough, you should be able to look at how another person is treating you and others and stay away from those who pull back into a toxic relationship.

Along with confidence in yourself, you have to restore a measure of confidence in others.

One of the negative side effects of a toxic relationship is that you can begin to believe that everyone is just out to use you. The reality is that there are many good people who only want to have mutually beneficial relationships with others. Because you have made bad choices about people, you can lose your confidence in other people. As you reconnect with old friends and family members that genuinely care about you, your confidence in others will soar.

You need to gain new confidence in the world around you.

If you become low enough, it is easy to think that even fate has turned its back on you. This results in a belief that there is no real good in the world. Everything becomes clouded and unclear. Events and actions are misread and misunderstood.

You have to begin to see the world as a place where good and bad things happen, but they do not conspire against you. In the long run, most people will have far more good things happen than bad. By restoring your confidence in society and nature, it will help you to see the world as a good place and give nature and people a second chance.

Learn more about this author, Allen Teal.
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