by Linda Gray

Created on: March 06, 2009   Last Updated: March 07, 2009

Memoir-Betrayal by a Best Friend

Merriam-Webster defines betrayal as "to fail or desert especially in time of need." So at first thought, if I said that the best friend whom I felt betrayed by was my ex-boyfriend, one may think that this is possibly a story of infidelity or abuse, not betrayal. Not so. This story is one of true friendship, closer than any that I had with a girlfriend.

Even though we had not been together for several years, my ex-boyfriend and I had bonded into a solid, platonic friendship. My daughter chose him to give her away and he was just as proud as a father to give her away. He was my friend whom I called when I needed another view on some problem that I was facing. I did not do this often as I felt that I was a strong, independent woman who did not need to tell the world about her problems. But he was the one person whom I could, or would, confide in in what I considered my few weak moments.

Also, as a single woman, he was someone whom I could count on when I needed some small repairs or some help in an emergency without worrying about some ulterior motives, such as sex. Our birthdays were two days apart and we often celebrated our birthdays together, even after we broke up. We were members of the same church for years and often went to breakfast after church to catch up on what was going on in our lives: our children, our work, our frustrations, our hopes and aspirations. As loyal members of our local college alumni, we often worked together on several fund raising projects. So imagine my hurt when I found out through another friend that he was getting married when she accidentally told me that another male friend of ours had attended his bachelor party. It was not the point that he was getting married, because our relationship was not a romantic one. But I felt betrayed that he could not tell me in person, as close friends as we were. I found out later that everyone else had known, except me.

At church the next Sunday after his honeymoon, it was hard to approach him because I really felt let down that he felt that he could not tell me, his best friend, about his marriage. I would have understood and he knew that. But I was determined to keep our friendship solid so I had decided to forgive and forget. After all, we were still best friends. It was an unwritten law that we would always be in each other's lives as best friends no matter what. Marriage by either of us would not destroy that, right? I hugged him and congratulated him on his

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