by Thom W. Conroy

Created on: March 06, 2009

Relationships are not suddenly thrust into disharmony without warning, there are red flags that give notice of trouble on the horizon that can go unrecognized and lead to disaster. The ability to read the warnings can mean altering the course of a relationship to one of reconciliation and communication, or stumbling forward ignorant of pending doom. Red flags that warn a relationship is distressed are often met with denial, apathy, or are dismissed as lacking an importance that requires immediate attention, that is, until the worst case scenario presents itself.

The most common red flag of a troubled relationship is a sudden change in the frequency or quality of communication between participants. While good communication is probably the most important feature of any relationship, in a deteriorating relationship it becomes the first red flag of a problem. In a healthy relationship communication allows a couple to share thoughts, feelings, emotions and desires, while in a troubled relationship communication shifts to an attitude of "why bother" mentality. Perhaps past instances of disagreement have left the participants to feel they are taking the path of least resistance in keeping communication to a minimum.

A sudden inability to compromise is yet another red flag of a relationship on the slide. Good relationships in general take into consideration the desires of both partners, so much so that in a long-lasting relationship one partner will often defer to the wishes of the other just for the sake of making that person happy. This occurs because to make your partner happy can result in pleasure for the couple collectively, and is the earmark of a truly successful relationship. An unwillingness to compromise for the benefit of a mate is selfish, disrespectful, and is a cold slap in the face communicating that mutual concern and respect is a thing of the past.

Perhaps the most obvious red flag of a troubled relationship is the feeling of isolation resulting from a combination of problematic circumstances. The notion that the "us" component in a relationship has vanished and been replaced with two separate individuals just going through the motions is a rude awakening. Without a mutual kindness, affection and consideration of a mate's well-being, the writing is on the wall as to the possible future of a particular relationship. In these instances, the only hope for a continuation of the relationship is through hard work and a desire to discover and repair the problem areas one at a time, until an understanding of both parties is affected.

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