The truth is, I dont lie, I never have. People only lie when they have faults or imperfections. If I had any faults or imperfections, probably, I would lie, but I dont have any, despite what some other people say.
The last lie I told, was saying, 'it's ok', when an old lady bumped into me last year.
It wasn't ok, but I lied to save her feelings. You must beleive that. I didnt want her to go home and worry that maybe I was seriously injured, or worse. I lied, to help her have a good nights sleep, because with my injured leg, I wont be able to.
My motto is: Always tell the truth.
Because I am well balanced, educated, and fun to be with, I have no need to lie. If I had any friends, they would tell you that as well. I dont count my wife as a friend.
The last lie I told, was when I went to see my Doctor. He asked me if drink was a problem. I told him it was.
Truthfully, I didnt want him to think he was the only one with a drink problem.
I told him not to worry, we will get through this together.
He said that after what my wife had told him about me, maybe I was not lying, but exagerating the truth a little bit..
He asked me if my memory played tricks with me. I told him, no one plays tricks with me.
Then he asked me if my memory plays tricks with me. To be honest, I'd forgotten why I went to see him.
To my way of thinking, there is no need to lie. Live your life right and proper, that is all you have to do, it is so simple.
My motto is: Always plead not guilty.
But, as I have found out in this sad old world were in, saying, I plead not guilty, doesnt always work.
Another way to look at this, is maybe it could be too cruel to tell the truth.Take my wife, she worked six hours a day for six months, to buy an outfit for the holidays.
When she asked me, How do I look in this ?
You can see where this is going can't you.
My motto is: Lying is not in my dictionary. ( Nor is Soap or Elephant. But I did buy it cheap.)
My mother taught me to always tell the truth, unless I was in real bad trouble.
Some people tell lies, to make themselves look better to other people.
I just cannot see what they get out of it.
Whenever my sister told a lie, her temperature would go up a little bit. She caught fire in the Divorce Court last year.
It's like my Contract with Helium.
What pleasure would I get if I were to win all of the competitions that I entered ?. I had to insist really strongly, and ask that I do not win any.
My motto is: Always give other people a chance.
If there are any spelling errors in this article, It is down to the a SpellChecker fualt.