by Emily Falshaw

Created on: March 05, 2009   Last Updated: March 09, 2009

Somehow, amongst the rock-hard fruit cakes, the icicle lights, the tacky Santa ties with the twinkle lights on them and the fist fights for Tickle-Me-Elmos, Christmas has lost its magic. What should be a time for peace on Earth has been transmogrified into one hell of a rat race all based around greed and gluttony. There's never any parking at the mall, the queues in the grocery stores stretch as far as the eye can see, and instead of decking the halls, we're decking our fellow shoppers should they happen to get in our way.

Don't get me wrong. I really do love Christmas. In my family we have certain traditions which can help me forget about the mountain of wrapping I apparently volunteered for. One of them is music. From about mid-November to well after New Year, we endlessly play our Christmas CDs. Some of them are 20 years old, and yet we manage not to get too sick of them. Without exception they are of the classical genre. And listening to them while that mountain of wrapping gradually transforms into a foothill and then a prairie really helps me feel Christmassy.

Which is why, when I walk into an overcrowded shop and hear Christina Aguilera belting out "O Holy Night" at the top of her ample lungs, I want to scream but settle instead for gritting my teeth until I need to see the dentist . Why, when stores are so congested that I'm sandwiched between an obese person's rolls and a hygienically-challenged person's armpit, does the management feel the need to subject us all to such rubbish? It doesn't instill the elusive Christmas Spirit in disgruntled shoppers. If anything, this type of music only serves to remind everyone of just how commercial and kitsch Christmas has become.

I used to be a music snob, but I've mellowed of late and will listen to just about anything. But there are two kinds of Christmas music which I absolutely loathe. The first is secular stars singing Christmas carols. I'm not terribly religious, but it still seems a bit heretical for said Ms. Aguilera to sing such a sacred carol when everyone remembers the sleaze that was her video for "Dirrty." And Destiny's Child's offering of "The Little Drummer Girl" would be funny were it not so pathetic.

The second kind of Christmas music I have absolutely no time for is popular songs written about Christmas. I wasn't terribly old the first time I heard Wham's "Last Christmas" (in a shop no less). I remember thinking "what does this have to do with Christmas?" I still think heartbreak is not a terribly festive topic. And John and Yoko's "Happy Xmas (War is Over)" has to be one of the most annoying Christmas songs of all time. I mean, it just goes on and on. True, it was written as a protest song, but I, for one, have never thought of Christmas as a time for politics, excepting of course, the Queen's speech.

I guess what really bothers me about these two styles of Christmas music is the fact that they're shameless money-grabs. Christmas is cheap enough without the already very rich trying to cash in on it. When I listen to the King's College Choir sing "Once in Royal David's City" or to Leroy Anderson's "Sleigh Ride" I feel a sense of peace I just don't get when elbowing my way through crowds accompanied by the usual musical crap. Wherever I am, hearing classical Christmas carols takes me back to sitting by the tree, sipping away at hot chocolate. Perhaps shop owners should try playing this type of music in their establishments. Who knows, we may just see some peace on Earth at Christmas time.

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