by Tamatha Hetrick

Created on: March 05, 2009   Last Updated: March 15, 2009

I have spent my entire 40 years of life scheduling my days, appointments and events around the rest of the world. So, why would I think for one minute that my wedding would be different? This would be my and my husband-to-be's second marriage each. We had recently moved to the great state of Alabama and were setting up our lives. I started looking in the phone book for churches. There are 100's of Baptist churches in every corner of the state but not one Brethren church to be found, not one. So, I started calling any church with a listed number and explaining that I wanted to get married in a church and that we just had a baby not long before. I explained we would be looking for a church to make our own. Although most of the people I spoke with were nice enough, no one would give me a scheduled wedding day. We had to go to counseling for 6 months to a year if we wanted them to marry us, because we were "dreaded" divorcees. Being young, I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it now, not 6 months later.

We finally gave up the hope of a church wedding. I decided to look for some ordained ministers. There was only one in the phone book. This has to be a sign, I thought. He is the only one-the one! I called. He answered "*White Snake and Skull Tattoo Parlor". I immediately apologized as I must have had the wrong number. I was looking for *Joe Miller the ordained minister. He confirmed I had the right place. Seriously? He was a nice man and explained his career was tattooing but he did weddings as a side job. Seriously? I thanked him for his time and information, and told him I may call him soon. My husband to be was amused.

After failed attempts to find a church, minister or even a ship captain, we decided to have a court house wedding with some of the trimmings. I made a hand made bouquet, bought a lovely dress, great rings, planned a nice restaurant dinner afterwards and had our baby and sons from a previous marriage excited to be becoming one big happy family. Unfortunately, my mom and stepdad were visiting in Virginia that day and couldn't promise they'd make it in time. Another scheduling conflict. The morning of the wedding, Friday, October 13, 1995, we had the whole day scheduled down to the paperwork.

We sent the older 2 boys to school with the intent to pick them up 1 hour before the wedding, which we decided would be 2-ish. We laid out all our clothes and trimmings in preparation. Then we decided to go to the courthouse and take care of the paperwork when they opened. That way the kids wouldn't have to sit through all that later when we came back. In our blue jean shorts, with nothing but our paperwork, baby and diaper bag, we headed into the courthouse. After we filled out the paperwork, we were prepared to head home and get ready. I was so excited!

"Sorry, but we have to perform the ceremony now." Huh? "The judge has a terrible toothache and needs to go to the dentist to get it pulled." Seriously? "If you don't get married now you may not be seen until next Monday or later." No rings, no dress, no trimmings, no mom of the bride, no older kids...THIS IS NOT MY SCHEDULE! We were happily married by 10 am with a toddler hanging on our jean shorts. But of course, there is one last scheduling mishap. The following Monday the door bell rings. It was my mom and stepdad excited that they made it for the wedding. She just knew she had the day right because who would get married on Friday the 13th. She was sad to have missed the wedding but in the end we have a funny story to tell and my husband and I will never plan a concrete schedule without leaving room for conflicts.

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

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