by Leah Davidson

Created on: March 05, 2009

I believe that a virtuous woman is one that, if not married, keeps herself for the greater love of God. That is to say, a woman may be reborn to virginity, if she keeps herself a vessel for the Lord.

In my life so far, I have been celebate for approximately ten+ years, completely celebate. I'm fifty-six years old and I have been married and divorced three times and that is not counting the number of times I have given myself to a man out of wedlock. I have asked for forgiveness of my God and my belief system (Faith) tells me I am forgiven. I read Isaiah Chapter 54 often as it gives me much comfort. I read the Bible daily, for comfort, so as not to suggest my piousness which I loathe to do, but there are verses in the Bible for example Matthew 25 which reads, and I am not quoting as I do not have it memorized, that Jesus will return to the earth and gather his sheep on His right and the goats on His left.

I am praying to be among His sheep on His right so that I might have a place in Heaven with Him, there is also a verse in Matthew that speaks of ten virgins waiting to be called to their bride groom's chambers and five of them have oil lamps filled with oil and five, foolish virgins have left their lamps empty and when the time came for the bride groom to come all ten entered into the chamber but only the virgins with full lamps received their groom.

I pray that I am worthy of my Bride Groom, and have my lamp filled for Him to see me waiting for Him. I am celibate so that I can repent for my sins committed in my youth and when the Lord, my God turned His face away from me for a little while in anger. He now turns his face to me and promises never to be angry with me again, as this is to Him like the flood in Noah's time, He will never again lose patience with me so with that Grace I can stay celibate for Him.

Now there are other things with which my God 's Will is for me that I find harder to obey, I owe money and I have that money to pay but I hold onto it because I fear I will need it to pay for badly needed medicine, and in this matter I feel I am losing the battle. I pray that God gives me the strength to obey Him and remember that each day of my life He is the One that takes care of me in Every matter.

Staying celibate for my Lord of Hosts has not been difficult for me for some eight of the ten+ years, I believe that my Lord God of Hosts has helped me by being fully committed to me as well, this may be interpreted mistakenly but in order to understand , you must understand the level of your own committment.

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