by Dr Victoria PhD

Created on: March 05, 2009

I don't like Valentine's Day. And no, this isn't going to be another one of those diatribes from a bitter single woman. In fact, I'm not bitter about being single. Yes, I do wish I had someone to share Valentine's Day with, but I'm not mad about it.

And I have nothing against a day that is SUPPOSED to be about love. In fact, at the risk of sounding trite and cliche, I have so much love in my heart sometimes that it scares me and hurts sometimes. When I love, I LOVE. That includes friends, family, pets, and the few men I've loved, though I question whether those relationships really qualified as being in love because I have my doubts, but I'm getting off track here. The point is that I have so much love in my heart to give, and I'm looking forward to being in love and in a romantic relationship someday so I can give and express romantic love. In short, my relationship status has nothing to do with my disdain for the holiday.

Here's why I don't like it-it's the only holiday that truly excludes a large number of people. Think about it. One doesn't need to be Christian to participate and celebrate Christmas or Easter. Everyone can enjoy Halloween and New Year's Eve. One doesn't have to be American to celebrate Thanksgiving or July 4th, either. Not Irish? That's okay. You're free to celebrate St. Patrick's Day.

Valentine's Day, however, excludes single people. If you're not married or in a committed romantic relationship, or if you're single and don't have a date for Valentine's Day, then you're not allowed to celebrate it. It just doesn't include you. It's truly a couples holiday. It's the only holiday that makes even the proudest single person feel like a loser. I know I'm not alone in this, either, and I know I think it's ironic that a holiday that's intention is to honor and celebrate love excludes people. That's not very loving, in my opinion. But what can we do to change it?

One thing we can do is to wish EVERYONE a happy V-Day and show EVERYONE how much we love them by honoring that love. It can be through a gift, a short note of appreciation and love, helping each other in some way, etc., as long as it makes someone's day better and shows them that you care.

And we should remember to profess our love for each other every day, not just limit our displays of love and affection to one day of the year and forget about the rest of the year.

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