by Ann Nurse

Created on: March 05, 2009

Inner definitions: On loving Yourself

Inner defining love of self is a process each of us experiences.. We don't all conceptualize love in the same manner. Inner love is influenced by our early in life by the experiences we have with our caregivers, generally in the family settings. We would all have to agree that some homes are more nurturing than others; this is not a value judgement. This would most likely make our perception of love as different as the number of people you might ask to define love of self. Defining and giving definition to loving self' seems to be an ongoing process. Definition of self is influenced by how much love is extended to us and how much love we see being given to others in our immediate surroundings. The generosity of love in our environment would enrich our personal capacity to give and to receive love. Should this process not occur, a person would not learn to love self,' and consequently not be able to love others. Loving self' is essential before loving others.

Work in Progress
Acquiring love of self' is a work in progress. Discovery and definition of oneself involves your personal will. The very essence of love is respect. An individual is taught to respect himself and to extend the same respect to others. Mothers, under ordinary circumstances, are the first person to demonstrate love to us. Her nurturing as our initial caregiver is the foundation for our ability to appreciate love of self. When we respect ourselves as individuals, we will respect others. This is the highest form of love. Your character is built around how you internalize love and come up with a definition of who you are.

Shakespeare said, "To thine one self be true and thou canst not then be false to any man."

While we are defining our self, we train ourselves not to be self-indulgent, self-centered and we strive for balance in our appreciation of our own personhood. We don't lie to ourselves. Let me express it this way; we define self by seeing within us something that resembles the best of what we want to be. If you are constantly 'kicking yourself' mentally, it means you are still working on some flaw you want to see gone; there is nothing wrong with that. We are trying to perfect self in order to love self better. Let me hasten to add, you are in the process to discover "who we are" first and determine "whose we are,"second; and we are trying to successfully achieve a place of peace and balance in our quest of inner definition and love of self.'

Many Approaches

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