The Power of Honesty
Sabotage. We won't admit to it. Never. No amount of photographic evidence, torture by temptation, or candy-addict intervention will make us confess. It's just a little extra here and there, right? That chocolate bar will remain in the vault that is your stomach - - until you get honest with yourself.
Sabotage is the greatest source of weight loss shame. This guilt alone can be enough to ruin your mission. The key to success is honesty. Honesty with no one but yourself. It does not matter what your friends think, what your trainer says. Not even the stern reprimand of a nutritionist can make you feel. If they do, then you're in this for the wrong reasons. It's on your shoulders (and your waistline) alone. It sounds scary, but there is no greater sense of accomplishment than claiming your power to control what happens to your body.
Many of us are not even aware that we sabotage. A routine forms and we get comfortable. So then, what's got into the bathroom scales lately? Why the sudden rift in your relationship? You start to avoid one another. Things get awkward and you take a break. You're angry, hurt, and before you have time to question your own responsibility, there's a feud between you and the inanimate object on your bathroom floor.
But, you consider yourself a strong willed, disciplined health-pro?! Or, you're just like everyone else? You eat what they do? Why is this happening to you when you haven't done anything wrong? It's this harsh, over thinking mind set that's got you into this feud and together, you me and the bathroom scales, are going to get you out of it. We're going to sit down for a safe, friendly, but ultimately honest conversation about your weight loss.
1) First on the agenda, is the most common, the least difficult of the sabotages to uncover. Deliberate over-extension of your caloric intake. Commonly occurs during sudden bouts of difficult emotion, be it stress, depression, anxiety. (If you are certain that emotion is not the culprit, then you are most likely accustomed to eating a certain way. You learnt your eating patterns through childhood and you have not questioned them in later years. It takes time and education to break a lifelong habit.)
For many, food is a comfort, something to distract us from the pain of a particular reality. When we were sick, chicken soup was by our side, when we were good, the cookie jar said well done. The holidays all have their traditions - - food! Easter eggs, turkey, pudding. We look to food now for the elation of childhood joys, the "good" feeling. By being aware of the real reason that you want to over indulge, you are honest with yourself and cannot in good conscious betray your own loyalty.
2) So what then, if you do not binge? What if, like so many of your friends, you enjoy a chocolate treat each day, a little extra peanut butter, and your cup of pasta is more like three cups mashed into one? You can only stick to the rules for so long before you start to get bored. Eventually, counting calories, carbs, fats, sugars, is going to become easy. You know your nutrition. Things go good for a month or so, and then you start to sneak just a little more - - of everything. It all adds up! Stop fooling yourself. You know it, I know it, and the scales sure do too. Go back to weighing, portion control, counting. Not forever. Only while you're losing weight and then re evaluate when you reach your goal.
3) Experts are experts (once you've found the right ones). Give them a go. Listen to them (but do it for your self). Too many people pay good money for good advice, and they don't take it. Say to yourself, "just two weeks. I'll give it a try and see what happens." You're not being honest with yourself when you spout "poor me, I've gone to all these doctors, seen all these nutritionists, trainers, read all these books, tried all these diets," knowing somewhere in your determined-to-remain-repressed subconscious that you did not infact give it your all. (If you give all these things a true and honest, vigilant by the rules two week trial, and still, you don't see results, then you may have some serious health concerns and need hormone tests etc.)
4) Exercise. Even those who do it may be sabotaging their efforts. There is no black and white rule. Exercise is just as dependant on the individual as diet. Some lose weight walking a half hour a day, others need a few dalliances with the gym, and others, like myself, need at least an hour a day. Think about it logically. We look at stars and say, why don't I look like that? Do you do a ninety minute workout, like Britney? Two hours a day, like Gwyneth Paltro? Hit the pavement like Reece Witherspoon?
Until recently, I though it could all be done through food. My diet is beyond perfect. I know what time to eat certain foods, how much, what portion, the entire nutritional table of everything I eat, and I was struggling. I did thirty odd minutes of exercise, daily. But, the rest of my day was ..restful. I simply was not burning more than I was consuming - (a mere 1200 calories a day). I got honest with myself, and now enjoy an hours walk in the morning and an hour on the bike at night. It works! (For me).
Doctors recommend 10 000 steps a day, to everyone. Wear a pedometer and see how much you do. If people not trying to lose weight should get this much exercise for their health alone, why shouldn't you?
5) Sabotage can be more than the physical, black and white, right and wrong. A mental / psychological / emotional blockage can stop you losing weight. Weight symbolises protection, it is literal armor to keep people away. You can be doing everything right, and still, there is a part of you that is scared of becoming skinny. Scared to be vulnerable and powerless. You need to be honest with yourself and ask, "why do I have this weight? What does it mean to me? Am I ready to let it go?"
6) Is there someone else that might not want you to succeed? We're not looking to blame them, only see the reality, be honest with yourself, and take responsibility for your own emotions and subsequent actions. Your partner, perhaps, is afraid you might leave them should you lose weight? This is there own insecurity. Not yours. Talk to them, let them know how important this is to you, and don't hold back. Be the "you" you want to be, not the you someone else needs.
Now remember, this little conversation can remain between you, me and the bathroom scales. You've just changed direction, taken control, and no one has to know. Watch as the people a round you envy your new found sense of love and respect - - for yourself. Thrive on the power of honesty.