by Janet Dunn

Created on: March 04, 2009   Last Updated: December 21, 2009

No matter how hard you pretend not to see the truth, the circumstances that shape your life will always be revealed in your reflection.  Others may not see it, but you will, and some of what you see will be pleasant and some will not.  We all deal with different scenarios and it depends on you as to what you make of it.

This is a story about a woman who was so smothered by her rigid upbringing that she led a miserable life of low self esteem and feared that she would never be able to overcome her circumstances.  It wasn’t until she was grown that she was finally able to break the chains that kept her bound for years.  But before those chains were broken, what did she see in her reflection as she timidly looked in the mirror? 

She saw a woman whose hopes and dreams of the future put aside because of the needs of others and an unhealthy allegiance to her family.  She saw those around her succeed and move on while she stayed behind being the ever dutiful daughter. She saw a woman who did not further her education because of her fear of failure.  She saw a woman who in her youth, was never allowed to make decisions, and as a result she suffered so much difficulty in trying to make the simplest of decisions.

She saw a woman so severely sheltered and controlled that she married just to please her parents, because they said it was time she found a husband to take care of her.  At eighteen, she married her first boyfriend, divorced six years later, married again, and then another divorce three years after that.  She doesn’t recall ever being “in love”.  Often at work she would hear her colleagues tell their stories of get-a-way week-ends and exotic vacations together; and she silently wondered why she was never blessed with someone to share a life of memories too. 

But as time passed, the reflection in the mirror began to change as she started to focus only on the positive; and it completely redirected her life giving her a whole new concept of who she had become.  Today when she looks into the mirror she sees a woman who single-handily raised her children to become successful adults and to be blessed with children of their own.  She sees a happy and strong woman who persevered and never lost hope. And she sees a woman who is thankful for these blessings bestowed on her.

Now as I look into the mirror, I see in myself this same woman; my mother, who through the lessons her life taught her, instilled in me love and the self confidence, independence, and the courage that brought me success.   

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