by Chris Rose

Created on: March 04, 2009   Last Updated: March 09, 2009

MAY RESULT IN INJURY

I am standing in line at the grocery store yesterday and there is two ladies directly in front of me. The first being approximately 20 years old and the second approximately 40 years old. The 20 year old arrives at the cash register, chats with the cashier as her items are rung through and produces a small handbag from her right hand to offer payment. This young lady gathers her groceries and is on her way. Nothing weird right?

The 40 year old lady is next up to the till and begins small conversation with the cashier as her items are rung through. The cashier provides the total owed to her and from this ladies right shoulder comes this enormous shoulder bag. While looking for her bank card she removes the following items and places them on the counter: lipstick, mascara, flyers, a newspaper, car keys, cell phone, a dog toy, a pair of sandals, nylons, feminine hygiene products, another cell phone, day timer, a pen, gum, calculator, ipod with ear phones, a candle and last but not least her wallet which contains her bank card. I can guarantee it wasn't empty.

It was at this moment that it struck me, as women age their handbags grow. I looked around, and noticed several other men and women standing behind me in line. The look on the mens faces was that of terror, and the women thought nothing of it. I paid for my items and returned home.

Upon arriving at home I immediately began going through pictures of myself and my wife from our first days together, (small hand bag), to recent pictures of our last outing, (huge hand bag). What do I do?

I go to the kitchen pantry where my wife stores this tickle trunk of a bag, and I ask her if I can get her keys for her truck. I opened the tickle trunk guys! Don't ever open the tickle trunk. I heard the zipper snap, leather stretch, and pockets pop. I thought I was going to loose an eye. There were "things" inside there that I have no idea what they are for, but she obviously needs them or they wouldn't be there right?

I located the keys and began attempting to close the tickle trunk. "OH MY GOD", I had worked up such a sweat, that I couldn't even hold onto the zipper any longer. I called my wife down for back up. She comes to the kitchen, takes the zipper, pushes down on top of her tickle trunk and ZZZIP, it's closed. I then received that look, like " what are you doing you moron"?.

I began speaking with my wife about my theory, and she did have a great defense. She continually reminded me that ever time that we are out and I ask for something, like kleenex, chap stick, rubber bands, and yes, a mouse trap, that they come from the tickle trunk. I didn't even ask why there was a mouse trap in her purse, somethings are better left alone. However I was grateful when I received these items upon request.

So from this point on on guys I challenge all men to compete with each other to see who can request and receive the strangest item from our wives ever growing handbags. Remember guys play safe and DO NOT ENTER THAT BAG UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. It may result in injury.

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