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A marriage is a living entity created by love and can be killed painfully through the neglect of it's participants. The fragile balance of a marriage that allows it to grow and prosper through tremendous hardship can be set askew with the slightest of transgressions, and send the marriage spiraling out of control toward a disastrous end. Even most married people do not recognize the speed and power with which a marriage can be killed, and a momentary episode of apathy or indifference can create a regretful termination of an otherwise strong marriage.

The probable top factor in the death of a marriage is dishonesty, in thought or action, or both. To withhold honest thought, emotion or affection is at the least disrespectful to your partner, and is essence stating that you do not trust them with the truth of your intellect or emotion. This can be reduced to further individual aspects, such as sexual dishonesty accomplished through extramarital affairs, financial dishonesty by not communicating expenditures, or emotional dishonesty by not sharing feeling openly. In any instance, trust issues create an obstacle that is difficult to overcome, even with professional advice and counseling.

A marriage can be easily killed by a lack of communication, or poor communication skill in general on topics of importance. The give and take that allows a marriage to self-correct itself in disharmonious times cannot exist without good communication and the understanding between the parties that results. Misunderstandings resulting from a poor choice of words or expressions escalate to full blown arguments, hurt feelings and lingering negativity, when the initial intent was poorly presented. Years after the incident, a trace of the original issue still exists only to resurface as part of a different set of issues.

A simple lack of maintenance can kill a marriage, or the failure to realize that both partners have constant and ongoing needs that can only be filled by a spouse, and this is not in reference to sexual relations. The point in every marriage or relationship comes when both participants fall into a "comfort zone" where things are just taken for granted to always exist in their present form of comfort. The basic attributes that made the relationship exciting and valuable at the start become a distant memory, as life pulls a couple away from what is important and is replaced with what needs immediate attention. The result of this being that the needs of both partners to receive simple affection and appreciation are unaddressed, and the emptiness and isolation that follows can kill a marriage at the speed of light.

Learn more about this author, Thom W. Conroy.
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