by Feed your head with a play by Pamela Olson

Created on: March 03, 2009

Good Guys Don't Have Degrees Of Integrity
"I'm not upset that you lied to me; I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you."

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each person's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." That was Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's view of bullies. We human beings are astoundingly quarrelsome creatures. We are far more prone to conflict than resolution. The fact that we are ever able to settle any of our differences is a tribute to how deftly we actually can handle conflict. The fact of how little we do settle is proof of how far we still have to go. A good start is to be, and be around, a good guy.

For the bad guys, they are not as smart as they think they are though. Their contradictions are what trips them up. New York State Supreme Court Justice Joseph D. McGuire said, "People tend to retain a good or bad character in all areas if life. For example, if someone cheats on the golf course, I'd assume that he or she will cheat in other areas of life also. If a person was underhanded in business, I'd assume that his or her personal relationships were also filled with hypocrisy. Those who cheat at little things will probably cheat at big things also. Good guys don't have shades of truth."

The moderation of good guys is complex. The extremism of bad guys is simple. Good guys' propensity to bargain is complex. When reconciliation between good guys is crafted, which demands complexity, deals get struck. When reconciliation isn't, bad guys rule, and conflict continues. Bad guys too often cast aside another's point of view for the simplicity of extremism. That choice for extremism happens because extremes makes things more comprehensible by reducing something to the lowest common denominator and, creates the illusion that things can also be made more controllable.

When it comes to sorting the good guys from the bad guys, prudence rules with trust-based decisions due to the vulnerability we're putting out by trusting. Shakespeare wrote, "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none." A trusted relationship is the foundation. Yet, trust is at an all time low. Researchers Spector and Jones confirmed that in the work place. When trust is broken at work, the implications immediately ripple through employees, partners, customers, vendors, shareholders, the cleaning-crew, and clients. The ripples of damage then spread into personal lives and the public community. As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, the result is

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