by Nicole Long

Created on: March 03, 2009

My Uncle didn't look anything like the man I remembered even a few short months prior. I remember sitting and thinking about how much alike we were. We both were opinionated, intelligent(not bragging there), and strong. I'm not really sure why he started smoking or why I started smoking even. All of a sudden it was just a cruel look at the effects of that choice. Sure I hated smoking, most smokers do. Some really love it and enjoy it and that's fine. I simply thought I loved it, but after this day it would be different.

There was nothing worse than that feeling to absolutely need a cigarette. If I was one minute late for my break and couldn't get my cigarette in, the day was very difficult. My attitude would shift. I was always focused on my cigarettes. Anywhere I went I had to double check that I had enough cigarettes for the trip. I never left without an emergency pack, just in case. Anytime I left the house I think I stopped at the convenient store for a pack. I don't think I hardly stop at those places anymore. Life was one big cigarette. The thought of trying to quit again was enormous for me. And at this moment, where I was visiting my uncle for possibly the last time, I even wanted a cigarette.

I had tried many times to quit smoking. I had smoked for 13 years and was just tired of always needing a cigarette. I tried the patches, hypnosis, and quitting cold turkey several times only to fail. When I was young I remember my Grandma gasping for breath and lacking energy. I knew she had emphysema and was struggling. I wasn't aware at that time what that really meant and I was young at the time she passed on. If that wasn't enough to want you to stop what is?

Seeing my uncle who had only three months earlier been diagnosed with cancer, laying there on the verge of passing on was very eye opening for me. He wasn't upset or even mad at his situation. I think we all knew cigarettes were the reason we were there there that day. I decided that day to honor my uncle with a serious effort to quit smoking. I set the day and promised myself that this time it would be different. I didn't want to go through all he had. The scare of going through any of that was enough for me to give them up.

I think for each person the reason to quit is different. Some people quit for their kids or family. Others simply quit for themselves. I quit for my Uncle.

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