by Randall Walker

Created on: March 03, 2009   Last Updated: March 04, 2009

Introverts are often misunderstood by others and by themselves. Introversion does not mean shy and withdrawn like a hermit or recluse, so if friends do not understand this, are they true friends?

This debate began just over a century ago between Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, two founding fathers of modern psychology. Jung saw the basic differences between those who focused on their own inner thought world, and those who looked outward for stimulation and understanding, as ways of processing information and viewing the world. He labeled the respective personality types as introverted or extroverted. Freud, on the other hand, saw introversion as an indication of suppressed sexuality and neurosis with its roots in childhood. Today, there are various personality tests such as, Myers Briggs, that determine whether a person tends toward introversion or extroversion. Unless someone is very attached to Freud and his views, introversion is viewed as a valid and normal psychological behavior (Capobianco, 2007).

The defining characteristic of introverts is the way they process information. Introverts do not need other people to energize their cognitive processes; their cognitive processes are focused on the internal world. The internal world or psyche is where higher order thinking skills are combined with emotions and feelings to evaluate, interpret, analyze, and synthesize information or new experiences in order to understand and formulate meaning from the same. On the other hand, extroverts seek stimulation and rely on interaction and discussion with other people to activate their cognitive skills and process new information or experiences.

True friends of introverts understand that internal processing does not indicate a withdrawn and shy person. There may be some introverts who are withdrawn and shy, but these traits are not necessary for introversion. Many introverts can carry on conversations with diverse people and speak in front of groups without trepidation. Many introverts enjoy other peoples company, and parties are not horrific ordeals to be avoided or endured. When an introvert expresses the need to spend time alone, internalizing and reflecting, empathetic friends know this is not a personal slight directed toward them but a necessary activity, which the introvert needs in order to recharge and function effectively.

There are some extroverts who come across as arrogant and use their boisterous behavior to mask feelings of inferiority and shyness while other extroverts are polite, considerate, and soft-spoken. Does this mean that all extroverts should be viewed as arrogant and boisterous? Of course not, and the same holds true for viewing all introverts as withdrawn and shy recluses.

Introverts do not need to adapt their personalities to suit so-called friends. If a friend does not understand the idiosyncrasies of an introvert, then the introvert should not feel compelled to explain or justify these quirks to such a rigid and inflexible person. There are enough interesting and empathetic introverts as well as extroverts who embrace the idiosyncrasies of others. They welcome friendship with diverse people without having to justify misunderstood behavior.

References

Capobianco, R. (2007). In the beginning: Jung and Freud on introversion.

Psychological Perspectives, 20:2 (1988), 244-55.

Learn more about this author, Randall Walker.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.