Everyone who's held a job has used a sick day at one time or another. Most of us who have called in sick, but were as healthy as a singing bird, have also used some type of excuse for this sick day at least once. Yes, you know who you are...
Although I don't recommend doing this too often, I'll make available my list of the best excuses for calling in sick. Use at your own risk and discretion. Here we go:
You are sick - Of course, this is the best excuse for taking a sick day. Make sure that the sickness you are claiming is contagious. If you are believably sick your boss will not want you anywhere near him or the other workers; he doesn't want to catch your sickness and won't want to have anyone else out either. Some good maladies to have are a strep throat, a bad cold, the flu and a stomach virus. Emphasize your symptoms and try your best to sound sick and miserable.
Your puppy is sick - Tell your boss that he's been throwing up all night and the vet says it looks like he has a very rare form of a mite infestation. Say that you can come in if he needs you, but the vet said that you should go see the doctor first because this mite can easily migrate and you could be infected too. Tell him you have a couple of boils on your neck and he says that's a very likely sign that you have the mite. Again reiterate that you can come in if he needs you to, but if you have the mite you'll continue to get more boils and also bad gas, which will lead to severe diarrhea. Say the doctor told you not to get too close to anyone or have any physical contact at all or the mite could be passed on.
Your neighbor got robbed - Say he asked you to hang out with him because he's scared the robbers may come back. Also he wants you to talk to the police in case they have any questions. You will need to take the whole day off because there's a possibility that the robbers are still around and you don't have an alarm. Tell your boss that you want to make sure they don't come back and try to break into your place as well. You wouldn't want them to rob your place while you're at the office and you definitely don't want your boss to feel responsible or anything
Your aunt is in town - Your slightly unbalanced aunt arrived unexpectedly. She needed to talk to someone because your uncle suddenly lost his job. Tell your boss that she is a wreck and flew all the way from across the country so you have to tend to her and can't leave her alone. This is a good one if you need two or three days off, since the aunt will be staying' for a couple of days, at least, since she came from so far.
You have to take a family member to the airport - For this one, pick a very inconvenient' time; say something like 2:00pm. Also pick an airport that's at least an hour away, so that it gives you no time to go into work for even for a half day. You figure it's an hour to get your relative to the airport plus they have to be there at least two hours before the flight leaves (they are flying international, of course). So you would have to leave the house around ten thirty or eleven. Once at the airport you have to stay until the flight leaves, because your relative is leaving for a while so you want to say a proper good-bye. By the time you got back it would be after three, there's no sense in going into the office for one or two hours.
Your kid is sick - I wouldn't advise doing this one unless you actually have kids. If you make a child up, the truth would come out sooner or later and it would make for a very awkward situation with your boss. That said, for guilt's sake, I would use this one when the real reason you want the day off is to spend it with the actual kid you are claiming is sick. It doesn't make for good parenting to use your kids for your own personal gain. I suggest going with the your puppy is sick' excuse if you want the time for yourself, the puppy, whether real or made up, won't know any better and frankly, wouldn't care if he knew either.
You have to help your parents move - Tell the boss that your parents can't afford a mover and rely on your help. They are a little older, after all, and they can't lift too much weight. Besides, they are your parents so you don't need an excuse to help them out. They need your assistance and you will be there to provide it, period. But, I wouldn't suggest bringing your parents to the office or to any office related events, because your boss will undoubtedly ask your parents about the move. If your parents are ok going along with your little scheme, then no problem. But if they don't know about it, then things could get sticky very quickly.
All right then, here you have some good excuses for calling in sick. Hopefully they will be used more for amusement purposes and not so much to get out of going to work. But if you are in some desperate need for time off then these could be your ticket to some much needed relaxation. Use sparingly!