by Christy Cunningham

Created on: March 03, 2009

The Worst Online Dating Experience

I have hit rock bottom. Who would have ever dreamed that I would be internet dating at fifty-six? I have several friends who have enjoyed it and thought I would give it a try.

I was contacted by a widower. For those of you who don't know anything about being an older single woman, a widower is preferred over a never married man (Can't commit or is a total loser) or a divorced man. (Another woman's problem) He looked okay in his picture and his profile said that he is a school teacher. Any person that is entrusted to work with America's children ought to be pretty safe, right? So I consented to meet him.

He was there waiting for me in front of Barnes and Noble. I was pleasantly surprised that he was better looking in person than on his profile. Granted, his glasses were from the 80's but a man's style can easily be changed.

We briefly chatted and then he asked me to go to dinner at Chuck a Rama. (First warning sign) Against my better judgment I agreed. Then, the second warning sign came when I saw his car. I almost fainted! I could not believe my eyes. His early 90's car was full of garbage. I don't mean cluttered with papers, I mean actual garbage in the front and back seat almost up to the ceiling. There was no where for me to sit. Surprisingly enough, he was not embarrassed by the state of his vehicle whatsoever. He merely started clearing off the seat by cramming junk onto the floor.

That posed a problem because then there was no where to put my feet. So I said, "Hey, why don't we walk?" A moment later he grabbed my hand and told me he didn't ever want to let go. Then, clenching his teeth, with mouth open, he began breathing heavily in and out through his teeth; this noise was acerbated by his immense amount of saliva. After the longest walk of my life, we arrived at the restaurant. While in line he informed the lady in front of us that she should not discipline her daughter. She glared at him, like, "who are you to tell me how to raise my daughter." I tried to look invisible and I began to wonder if he had severe mental problems.

After we were seated he then put me through a grueling interview to see if I was worthy of his high standards; all the while, spitting on me as he spoke to make his points. At one point in the dinner, he actually spit his carrots onto my plate! I made a mental note at that time to not eat from the upper right hand corner of my plate. At this point I learned that he had been fired from his teaching

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