by Gordon Sumner

Created on: March 03, 2009

If you believe the evening news, we live in a divided nation. There's always something dividing us whether it's the "have's" versus the "have not's", the conservatives vs. liberals, or even blue staters versus the red staters. Whether it is true or not, it makes for a good story.

One great divide that hasn't made the headlines is the differences between people who have kids and who don't. If you think about it, people who are busy raising children are in a much different place in life than those who are busy engaging in a life without the built-in time commitment that comes with taking care of kids.

It should come as no surprise that people who don't have kids are in for a big shocker when they start having children. For the first-time parent, starting a family means entering uncharted waters. Expectant parents are usually the first to admit that they are, indeed, taking a leap of faith. No matter how well expecting parents prepare, there is really no way to get ready for all of the life changes that occur with the arrival of children.

Perhaps the best way to prepare is to have realistic expectations about how having a child will change your life.

One area that new parents tend to be surprised by is how much time it takes to care for a child. Children operate on their own schedule. From the newborn that wants to sleep on his own schedule to the five-year old who insists on sounding out every word as you read his bedtime book, children don't live in the deadline driven world that adults do.

Another surprise to new parents is how having children sort of takes over your life. Suddenly, all that matters is caring for and providing for this little, dependent child. It forces you to prioritize your time very carefully and helps you become a less selfish person. At times it is challenging, but the rewards that come from it are difficult to put into words. This is part of the surpriseraising a child is something that requires tremendous effort, personal commitment and sacrificeand yet it is something that brings so much happiness. Once again, until you do it, it is difficult to convey the feelings that it evokes in parents. For this reason it catches most new parents off guard and surprises them.

The last item that surprises most new parents is how quickly their lives change. Suddenly going to the movies isn't as easy as it used to be. The spur of the moment weekend road-trip is suddenly much more difficult to pull off. Much of the spontaneity and freedom that many couples were used to is replaced instead by careful planning and heightened responsibility. Not that it these things are inherently bad, but new parents have to adjust to these real changes in their lives.

The surprises that come to new parents are different for every couple. The surprises that occur are best handled by having a healthy expectation of the time commitment and sacrifice that will come with caring for a baby. This realistic expectation will make the transition smoother for any new parent.

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