A lot of people don't believe that teens actually want their parents to guide them, discipline them and maybe even smother them a bit. Children understand instinctually that parenting is equal to educating and therefore, loving.
It's when parents go to extremes that kids do not respond. If you try to control everything in your teen's life, you're going to lose any and all control! Also, this goes against the very psychological purpose of being a teen: discovering who you are and what you stand for. This means, making choices and having some control over your own life.
If you completely ignore or deny teenagers, they tend to act out even more as they are ultimately feeling unloved. No one cares enough to discipline them.
The trick is to find balance as a parent. Pick your battles. No what you are supposed to be controlling in their lives and what issues are up to them. Give them choices and boundaries. Help your child understand that you are the parent and you make the basic rules. Make sure they know that you'll always love them, no matter what their choices are. Educate them. Give them the tools to make good choices. And most importantly, pay attention to them. Look in their eyes when they speak to you and really listen.

Learn more about this author, Ingrid Martinez.
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