by Craig Williamson

Created on: March 02, 2009   Last Updated: March 03, 2009

So, you've made the big step and you are now "out". You might be asking yourself, as I did, about where to go next. After the initial excitement of "being out" wears off, many of us feel a sort of disappointment. After all, sexuality is not everything. Let me tell you some things I've learned from my experience.

Most people that I came out to fell into three categories. The first were those who knew or suspected, the second were those who didn't find it to be a big deal at all, and the others were those who took a bit of time to get used to the idea. It's been about 10 years now for me, and for most people that I meet, it's just not an issue. With that in mind, let me give you a few pointers.

First, don't expect huge reactions from everyone now that you are out. Most people (though certainly not all) will either not be very surprised, or if they are they will get over it really quickly. Human beings are very adaptable creatures and will soon see you for who you are even if their initial reaction was somewhat shocked. I suggest that you be prepared for the initial excitement or even terror to wear off quickly, and don't feel disappointed if it fails to be a conversation topic after a few days.

Secondly, If you've been dating or seeing someone while in the closet, and if he or she is ready to come out, perhaps it's time to announce your relationship. I found that actually admitting that I was seeing someone was more difficult than coming out. The reason is is that it's easy to say you are gay and wait for reactions, than to actually announce that you are gay and to introduce your partner. It's a rewarding experience to not only let people in on your sexuality, but to let them in on the fact that you have someone. If you don't have a partner, coming out is certainly a good first step in fixing that.

Third. If you do have a partner, and he or she is "in the closet" and has no plans to "come out" than you have to ask yourself whether or not you are comfortable with hiding your relationship. If you are not, as I suspect most people wouldn't be (I certainly wouldn't be) than you need to make sure your partner knows how you feel. It might encourage he or she to also come out. If you don't yet have a partner, and you are looking for one, I highly recommend finding someone who is out. It's no fun hiding.

Fourth. Accept the fact that you are an out homosexual, and be proud of yourself. Not everyone will accept you, but most people are okay with it now. Don't get yourself into

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