by Laurie Mcintyre

Created on: March 02, 2009

Breakups tend to make you question everything about yourself. Your self confidence and your pride make you wonder if you can ever let anyone in your heart again. You'll work your brain so hard as to why the relationship failed. Meanwhile, the breakup has occurred and the other person instantaneously wants to become your friend. It is not uncommon for one or both people in the relationship to have a hard time letting go, especially if they have been in a relationship for a very long time.

How do you let go of someone you loved for so long? This is never an easy process and depending on the circumstances of the breakup, you wonder if you will be friends. It is important to have some time and space apart for awhile to regain your sense of self. So many of us out there define ourselves differently while in a relationship and once the relationship is gone, it is not uncommon to find yourself a stranger to yourself. It is good to remain friends if you both know it is possible, but as we all know, it is not as easy as switching channels on the television. Definitely give some space for yourself and the other person, so you absolutely can remain friends later.

After a recent breakup and you decide to become friends, definitely continue to communicate and know and respect each others boundaries for intimacy and dating. Be honest with each other and treat yourself as how you would want to be treated after a breakup.

People and relationships change with time. Relationships must have healthy communication and continued acceptance of that person for the relationship to flourish and grow. It doesn't matter how much you love a person, you can still love and be a good friend. The hard part in any relationship is accepting and knowing that the intimate part of your relationship is now over. Losing someone you once loved is like a death and grieving is inevitable.

It is important to mention that some relationships are so toxic and dangerous, it is most likely not going to involve a friendship after your break up. For your own health and well being it is for your own benefit not to be in their life any further. If you cannot trust your pet with this person, definitely stay away from this person. With any kind of relationship, it is not healthy to have a friendship with someone who will or has emotionally abused you or physically abused you. Break it off and run for the hills! Life is too short to be in an abusive relationship. There are so many wonderful people in the world and there is healthy love out there waiting for you! There is so much a person loses of themselves during times of abuse and they just don't recognize it. Surround yourself with trusted friends and family. If there was abuse of any kind in the relationship, definitely seek a professional help.

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