by Kristie Ponce

Created on: March 02, 2009

Some victims of rape are irresponsible. In fact, I would go so far as to say that ALL victims of rape are irresponsible.

I am speaking as a rape victim myself.

Miriam-Webster defines "irresponsible" as "not responsible", and "responsible" as "liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent". Similarly, the FreeDictionary describes an irresponsible person as being one who is "not capable of accepting responsibility," and a responsible person as "being a source or a cause". By these definitions, rape victims are clearly irresponsible. They cannot force someone to rape them. They are not the source, cause, motive, or agent of their own attack.

It is true that we have learned, over time, that some situations are more dangerous than others. We have learned that there are people who choose to inflict harm on others, be it emotional, physical, or sexual. Those people, those heartless, ignorant, arrogant beasts who find a way to rationalize their acts, to convince themselves that they have the right to take what they want, when they want it, regardless of the impact on others...They are the responsible ones. Because of the choices they make, the rest of the civilized world is forced to alter their actions. Compassionate and humane citizens are compelled to go out of their way to avoid creating opportunity in an attempt to take responsibility out of the hands of those who would victimize them. Women are told to walk in groups, have their keys in their hands long before they reach a door, carry mace in their purses. Females of all ages are told how to dress, how to stand, how to walk. They are told where they should and should not go, who they should and should not socialize with, how much make-up or perfume to wear, how much alcohol to consume. All of this, in an effort to prevent an act that is beyond her control, that she is not the agent of, that she is not responsible for.

According to experts, one in three American women will be the victim of a sexual assault. One out of every three. Some will be victimized as children, others as teens, yet more as adults. They will be attacked by strangers, by friends, by authority figures, and by members of their own family. They will be young, old; fat, thin; rich, poor; conservative, "wild"; smart, foolish. And every time, the victim will ask herself, "What did I do to make this person think that I wanted this? What did I do, or not do, that makes me responsible?"

This misplaced guilt is OUR fault. As a society,

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