by Melanie Marten

Created on: March 01, 2009

When you first learned about adverbs in grade school, you probably practiced writing sentence is such as, "Mary walked slowly while talking loudly to Joe." While this type of sentence gives information about how Mary walked and talked, it has no place in writing professional-grade fiction. In order to engage the reader and to immerse them in the action and the motion of your fiction writing, you must get rid of your reliance on adverbs.

Adverbs Be Gone - What's Wrong With Them?

Adverbs are perfectly good parts of speech. They give information about how, when, or where an action takes place. Problem with using adverbs when writing fiction is twofold. First, they tell the reader what is going on instead of showing in a descriptive manner. Second, they are ill easy way to use language.

Consider the following example: Mary walked slowly while talking loudly to Joe. We can see that Mary is walking slowly and talking loudly, but it does little to draw us into the scene. It is merely a retelling of the action that is taking place without giving any motivation or emotion to the action. Is Mary walking slowly because she is in pain, depressed, or for some other reason.

Adverbs Be Gone - What to Use Instead

Now that you know adverbs do little to draw you into a scene when writing fiction, what are you supposed to use instead? Instead of relying on adverbs, make better choices with nouns and verbs. Use descriptive language with emotional impact to give specifics about a setting or event.

Mary may have indeed walks slowly down the street while talking loudly to Joe, but that does not tell the whole story. Perhaps Mary meandered down the street, perhaps she staggered or stumbled. If she was talking loudly to Joe because she was angry, she may have shouted. If the reason for her loud speech was that Joe couldn't hear her, additional information should be relayed in the passage. For example: Mary raised her voice sewed Joe could hear.

When writing fiction intended for the young adult or adult audience, adverbs should be deleted whenever possible and replaced with more specific nouns and verbs. While an adverb can tell how, when, or where an action takes place, it does little to show the event to the reader in a way that draw some into the story. Adverbs should never become a crutch that prevents you from using more affective language when writing fiction.

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