From I was a little girl, I've always pictured how my life could be.... what job I'd have, where I'd live and ultimately if I'd really ever meet the man of my dreams. Standing here today I can safely say yes.... there is such a thing as a true man of our dreams. My life's been a roller-coaster ride of emotions, going from one bad relationship to another but suddenly when I just about gave up hope I met my partner. And from the first kiss we shared I just knew he was the person I'd spent my whole life waiting on.
Growing up I guess I had the usual images in my head of what my perfect man would be like... admittedly quite cliched images thanks to years of Disney films where the "Princes" all tended to look the same. And as I grew older those images changed, I grew up and what I wanted in a man naturally changed. Growing up it was all about the looks, but I soon realised it takes much more than appearances to make a relationship work. After every break-up I'd make a mental note of new requirements I had for the man of my dreams to have ,you know the usual... wanting a sensitive man after a break up with a guy who practically made me beg for affection, then wanting a man who was into sport after a break up with a man who practically had a couch glued to his derriere , and the old favourite...wanting a man who loved me for me after goodness knows how many break ups with men who kept trying to mould me into their perfect woman. Through every relationship I almost had a mental tick box in my head, measuring up these men to see if any of them really where everything I was looking for. I admit some came close, yet I always remained unfulfilled. Something was missing.
After my hardest break up last year I had to do a lot of searching within myself to figure out why it always seemed to go wrong for me. I looked back through all the dates I'd been on, relationships I'd had and I had to admit... I had a pattern. Here I was proclaiming to my friends that I wanted to meet the man of my dreams , someone who would complete me and make me truly happy yet here I was dating men I knew from the offset would be bad for me.I'd spent years searching for someone that didn't make me feel compromised yet so many times settled for men that did just that, I've always preferred taller men yet spent years with men who where shorter than me and I'd always loved men who showed their emotions yet spent hours agonising over those who didn't... So I made a decision to not date anymore until I was certain that I knew what I wanted from a relationship and in a man. I laughed with my friends as we talked about what I was looking for, we joked about what their personality had to be like, we had hour long conversations detailing what my perfect first date would be like with them and of course I described at length what I imagined they'd look like. My friends rolled their eyes at me , aware that my dating history had been more colourful than most peoples and jested that I was asking for too much and at this rate I'd never find him... But I've had the last laugh... I have found him.
When I first met Mark I can't explain the sense of completeness I felt. It was like he was a dream... I'd wanted this perfect man for so long in my head yet here he suddenly was right in front of me. He surpassed my expectations in ways I couldn't have anticipated. In my thoughts I'd always had this lovely image of a tall , dark , handsome man sweeping me off my feet and he did just that. And so much more. I guess the problem I always had was that my opinion of the perfect man kept changing and I was always too deep into a relationship before I realised this and ended up "settling". Settling for what I had even when it really wasn't what I wanted deep down. But with Mark I don't feel like I'm settling. I feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have found quite literally the man of my dreams.
He's smart , but not too smart that he makes me feel stupid. He's gorgeous properly dark and very handsome with these sparkling blue eyes and amazing smile. He's tall - which means I can wear my beloved heels without feeling like a giant which lets face it ladies is always a bonus . He says what he means and after years of playing games with men and having to guess how they feel it's a total relief to be with one who doesn't make me second guess. He tells me how he feels without over pressurising me or expecting anything in return. He has this amazing ability to make me smile yet he also has the incredibly beautiful way of making me cry with his sweet words. He makes me feel safe and secure and protected. I can actually see our future and it doesn't scare me... perhaps because I feel like on some level this is the man that I'm supposed to have that future with. And most importantly he truly loves me for me, he doesn't try to change me at all. Instead he makes me feel special for who I am, not who he wants me to be.
Finding the man of your dreams isn't always easy. And yeah I'm sure there are people out there who never find them. But that doesn't mean that you should stop looking. Perhaps you've been looking for the wrong thing, perhaps you too need to really ask yourself what it is you want not just for now but long term. Maybe the man your with right now IS the man of your dreams, perhaps you just need to look at him clearly to really see that. You need to stop thinking what he could be... and realise what he is.Open up your mind to the possibilities.Maybe you need to date a few losers to really appreciate finding your perfect match when you do. When I look back now , I realise that it took those bad relationships to really treasure this one. They provided me with an opportunity to really realised what I was looking for and ultimately what I wasn't. I don't regret any of them because through those relationships I got to here.. Today. And today I truly couldn't be happier with the man of my dreams.