by Jasmine Starr

Created on: February 28, 2009   Last Updated: March 02, 2009

The effects on relationships because of Gender Identity Disorder (GID) are, in a word, ubiquitous. I cannot think of one relationship that has not been affected at some level by my own GID. I offer my humble opinion on this topic as a thirty-seven year old male-to-female (M2F) transsexual that is just over a year into transition.

To be fair to those around us, we transsexuals should understand that this is a dramatic change for everyone, not just the transitioning transsexual. I attend a transsexual support group that stresses that it is not just the individual transitioning, but everyone around them as well. My parents are transitioning from having a son and a daughter to having two daughters. How my kids will transition is something I'm still working out, as I do not want to be viewed as a replacement for or competitor with their mother. I am in a relationship with a man that considers himself gay (but possibly bisexual) who would prefer that I do not transition.

Some relationships will not survive the transition. I lost two close friends early on, and both were politically liberal. It should be noted that it is difficult, if not impossible; to determine how someone you know will react. Even if they have shown empathy in the past for transsexuals in general, it is different when it is someone they know. Those friends of nearly ten years now avoid me, other than a polite greeting when we encounter one another. I would be lying if I denied the profound emotional pain this has caused; it has been overwhelming to the point of substance abuse to cope.

I am not living full-time as female, yet, nor am I out' to the general public. I have not transitioned at work, and a fair number of my extended family are still unaware of this looming issue. There are still effects, though. It is apparent that I am changing. My facial hair is disappearing thanks to laser hair removal. The hair on my head is getting thicker and longer, thanks to hormone replacement therapy. My face is rounding and my skin is softening. Fingernails that were kept bitten down to the skin for well over thirty years now grow longer and look better than those of the average genetic girl (GG).

I get treated differently because of this, even by strangers. Even when I am presenting as male, it seems people know something. This has been fairly positive with respect to strangers because in general I feel that I am treated more as a lady. I get called hun' and sweetie' more. More doors are opened for me. Women

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