by Laura Leigh Fields

Created on: January 26, 2007   Last Updated: May 05, 2012

Numb

I wish I couldn't remember,
the things that I will never forget.
Every day I build another wall,
but the past isn't buried yet.

I am Zombie eyed,
I feel so sedated,
always lost and confused.
I have turned into what I once hated.

I am searching for reasons.
I struggle with paranoid illusions...
trying to fight the haunting memories,
although I will never come to a conclusion.

I keep slipping back into depression;
I don't know why life always turns out this way.
I search for the words
but I just don't know what to say.

Life has been riddles with brief encounters,
I am always so easily bored.
I fake imaginary happiness.
but I have nothing worth fighting for.

I can't get it together.
when it is all falling apart.
I have nothing to believe in.
I am broken right at the start.

I am always begging my mind for mercy,
I wish for the end.
Something deep and dark
I am tired of being sick again.

I drown in the nothingness,
I am so scared of the past.
I just wish this feeling would disappear.
The cycles always seem to last.

My mental issues control me.
I don't know the person I have become.
I rage within my soul.
My existence has gone numb.

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