by Russell Gurney

Created on: February 27, 2009

There is such thing as a perfect apology. The very question whether or not there is comes from closed-minded thinking, particularly regarding methods of communication. I don't know whether or not there is a perfect apology using words. I do know that it's probably close to impossible. But words are so lousy for really conveying what we are really thinking.

It's hard to think about words, because it seems impossible not to without using them. I am even using them right now the best that I can. But when you really think about it, words are just a poor attempt to put things in their place so that we can control them in the ways that we want to. Think about these words: respect, context, responsibility. Without the words to label them, they don't really mean anything. You could explain them with other words, which is what a dictionary is. But you wouldn't be able to perfectly express it. There is simply no way.

People communicate every day in ways other than using words. There is body language, for example. There are professional analysts who can tell almost anything from a person's body language. Everything from their eye movements, their stance, and their breath can tell us what emotions they are probably experiencing. Most of this is involuntary. But sometimes we use it on purpose, such as when flirting, to send a message. This is why it's called body language.

And then there is of course, noises we make that can communicate. This is almost as common as body language. Clearing our throats to get attention, laughing to avoid awkwardness, sighing to express frustration, all of these things are communication without words. They could never replace words, but in the right situations can work just as well.

There is research out there supporting ESP and psychic abilities, but not enough to convince the masses. But it can be experience more easily on a personal basis. You might catch a taste of it when you are having a conversation with a close friend or family member. It's those times when you just know what they are thinking. But it's extremely hard to put a finger on this phenomena. So you should decide about this type of communication for yourself.

So what is the perfect apology? Well I can tell you that it doesn't include words. The perfect apology is a mutual understanding between two people, when feelings and thoughts can somehow be shared without words. It may seem impossible, but it isn't. And it's worth it to try as hard as we possibly can. Only then can we really mean something and understand something else.

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