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Halloween (Rob Zombie, USA, 2007)
Dir. Rob Zombie; starring Malcolm McDowell, Scout Taylor-Compton, Danny Trejo, Brad Dourif

If there's one thing you learn from watching Rob Zombie movies apart from what your insides look like, it's: don't watch Rob Zombie movies. Zombie is the picture postcard of MTV-generation trash that has spilled into the cinematic mainstream. His films are eye-candy to the uninitiated (or should that be uneducated), appealing largely, and unfortunately, to the mass teen market bred on quick-fixes, episodic action-orientated TV shows, and, seemingly, naked girls.

It's a shame Zombie should turn his creative-eye to the Halloween franchise. It would appear that, even though the series hardly requires any more instalments, Hollywood (more precisely, the Weinsteins) is happy to tread well-worn ground in the hope of appealing to a ready-made audience. The series as a whole had already lost much of the shine made by John Carpenter. His Halloween film from 1978 was not only one of the greatest horror movies ever made, but a defining moment in horror movie lore. Some of the sequels were also entertaining in their own right, especially Jamie Lee Curtis' return to scream-queen action in Halloween H20, but as more and more movies came out, Michael Myers became just another hokey anti-hero in the mould of Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees.

Why make another is a question for the marketers. Since there seemed little more to add to the continuing story, somewhere along the line Zombie must have had the thought: remake the classic original. What he didn't take into consideration was: remaking a film known and loved by so many is almost impossible. He also forgot to remember (probably on purpose) he didn't have the writing or directing talent to make it work.

In Zombie's remake, we begin by witnessing the would-be killer in childhood, living with his abusive father. Myers is an understandably troubled child, locking himself in the bathroom where he dissects the family pet. He's also getting into trouble at school, and, unfortunately for one school bully, beats him dead with a tree branch. After killing his father and sister, he's sent to a mental institution where Dr. Loomis tries to help him. Years later, he escapes, and we follow him back to his old home as he searches for his baby sister.

The new Halloween neglects to acknowledge what made the original so effective. This is, without doubt, the film's cardinal sin. What made Michael Myers such a frightening

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