by Ann Hinds

Created on: February 27, 2009   Last Updated: September 10, 2010

In America, we "bury" things that make us or others uncomfortable. We bury words, we bury images, and we sanitize everything. If we bury it, then we do not have to deal with it and what it stands for. The problem with burying words is that they do not go away. They stay out there because they have no place to go. You can't say it but continue to refer to it as the "N" word. It's every bit as prevalent as it was when you could use the whole word.

I'm a middle-aged, white woman who grew up eating nigger-toes. They were actually Brazil nuts. I grew up in an all white neighborhood and had no frame of reference for what the word meant. It was only a title for the nuts. I also grew up saying, "eenee meemee minee moe, catch a nigger by its toes". Again, I had no frame of reference. We learned it because that's what our parents used. Children use what they are taught. Am I sorry I used those words as a child? No. I'm not. How can anyone expect me to be sorry for what was just a word? What you can expect is that it is no longer a word that I use. As I got older and with the Civil Rights Movement exploding, I learned that it was a derogatory term and removed it from my vocabulary.

What this country is guilty of is taking the word and making it a crime. Yes, the word is unacceptable. Yes, it belittles. But it should not be a crime. It's not much different that trying to figure out what to call Black people. My mother who died at 80 managed to go from Colored to Negro to African-American. She passed away before she could make it to Black. We are so intent on labels that the whole issue continues to flourish. Am I White, Caucasian, or a Honky? I am blond but you probably shouldn't call me that either because I am not dumb. Much of the older generation is not going to change and those who use the word to hate may not be able to change either. Let's change the dynamics and look to our children.

I am teaching my 8-yr-old grandson what words mean. He will correct me if I say stupid or dumb. He knows that those words hurt and does not use them. He is now old enough to hear the word nigger. I will tell him what it means and the history behind it. By using the word to teach, I will insure that it is not part of his vocabulary. It will not be some dark secret word to be whispered in the boys' bathroom. Burying the word will continue to give it life in dark places. Let's teach it.

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