by Tim Entwisle

Created on: February 27, 2009

I thought about starting a dog blog to tell the TRUTH about dog ownership. The dog odyssey I have been on for the last year is a story worth telling: a warning for those of you who are thinking about embarking on the journey down canine pet-hood. I have ten points I would like to make about my experience of doghood (or really my dogs as I have two):

1. You can teach old dogs new tricks - it just costs you a fortune in dog trainers and too many hours doing repetitive tasks for little reward other than watching your dog start to understand that you are the boss, which I knew already.

2. The way to a dog's heart is through its stomach - the only bribery that works with dogs is dangling a big smelly bone in its face and telling it to sit. It works but only while YOU have the bone.

3. They are killers. Despite domestication they still are killers. Meek and mild with children and babies how cute they are. However, once there is another dog barking at them the wolf comes out.

4. Dogs really don't like cats. I like cats. So when my dogs catch a neighborhood cat and play tennis with it I am not happy. Game, set and match to the dogs. Savage, smelly carnivore beats clean, sophisticated carnivore.

5. When my youngest child grew out of nappies I felt liberated. No more poo. However, when aforesaid child was old enough we got dogs and I now find myself cleaning up after the dog. This is when I seriously doubt who is the boss. There is a wonderful quote, I am not sure who it is attributed to, that suggests that if we are the master why are we following the dog around picking up its poo.

6. Companionship. The loyalty of dogs is not questioned but I have friends. I don't feel the need for the constant adoring partnership of my dogs. It may be the right thing for the lonely but I don't need it. I prefer a good debate over a glass of wine to two hairy slobbering fools following me around.

7. I work from home. It is a great lifestyle. However, it does have a big down side. My dogs sit under the desk as I work. This is OK, I don't have colleagues to keep me company (see companionship) BUT, the constant passing of wind is a poisonous distraction. If you worked with people who 'farted' like this you would change jobs.

8. The language of dogs is so appalling. They bark, whimper, squeal but the only way you know they are happy is when they are quiet (or passing wind). Cats have the advantage in this one - they purr!

9. I have lost a few pounds having to exercise the dogs which is a good thing.

10. Recycling of bones and leftover chicken has been an environmental initiative in parallel to dog ownership. Nothing animal based goes in the bin. The only disadvantage is this is a two stage process, that is, eating and pooing.

But don't get me wrong my children love the dogs more than you can believe and for that reason my dogs are entrenched in my life.

Learn more about this author, Tim Entwisle.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.