by Kelly Brumbaugh

Created on: February 27, 2009

As a born Christian I have a hard time understanding what my true disposition is of religion. I no longer consider myself Baptist or Catholic, which those are what my parents are, my father Baptist and my step mother Catholic. Right now I'm in between Atheism and Agnostic. When I think of it I'm not so sure what I should or should not believe in. Because I like to think that there is a god out there and he helps people and so on and so forth. But then my brain kicks in and says, "Hey, how do you know that there is a god?" The main reason that part kicks in is because I was brought up believing that there is an almighty god and everything, but I was also taught that I shouldn't automatically base my religion on the same as my parents. This is why I consider myself an agnostic, but a hesitant believer in god.

When you truly think about it, you don't really know what to believe until you finally have proof of what you're believing. You don't know until you have seen the truth, I ask myself why people believe in something that they don't even know exists. That's why I consider myself Agnostic. I believe there might be a god but I won't truly believe until I have cold hard proof. And you really don't get that until you die right? I'm not sure if I can live my entire life not knowing what's going to happen the day I take my last breath.

Another reason why I consider myself agnostic is because of some of the stuff written in the bible. The things about gay people and some other things. I myself am bisexual and I am highly angry that if I was a Christian I'd be sent down to hell just for liking the same sex? That's one of the main reasons I turn myself away from Christianity. If I'm not allowed to be what I am then why would I support something like that? But there are a bunch of props about Christianity. Like a bunch of people say, going to church.

Those are really my main reasons why I'm agnostic but hesitant about being a true believer of Christianity. I'm not sure if I should consider myself agnostic or atheism. Or even think about Christianity. There are props to all three. And there are negatives to all three. My main one's agnostic, you don't know what to believe in or anything. But going back to what I said, you still don't know what you are until you die. That's only in my opinion though. Everyone has a different believe and in my case, I believe I'm agnostic but... I believe in a way where there is a chance of a god.

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